In which Taiki finds he must band together with the inners, minus his faithful comrades Yaten and Seiya-Man,
and review even more of a particularly evil fanfic sent from the depths of hell to torture them.

This one's dedicated to all you Akira-lovers out there (you know who you are!!! ^_~ ), 

<Mamoru> Oh nnnooooooo. *feigns mock horror* More Akira freaks.
<Makoto> I really love it when people claim they're anime fans, yet the only anime they can name is Akira. 
<Pendrell> We might have a small problem here, though.
<Minako> *icily* Oh reHEALLY. Like what, master?
<Pendrell> Um.. I've never seen Akira.
<All> ... what? Really? 0_o
<Mamoru> Then how the hell can we make fun of it if you've never even seen it?
<Pendrell> Look, I'm sorry, you guys, I'll go out and rent it or something! *throws arms up in a gesture of helplessness* I heard 
it was kind of crappy anyway!
<Makoto> Aahh!! Shut yo' mouth! Akira's supposed to be one of the greatest anime movies ever! *socks Pendrell one.. nicely.*
<Usagi> Uhmm.. guys. Hey! Cut the tirade against Pendrell short and get back to your computers..
<Pendrell> Uggh... x_x *crawls away*
<All> Shaddup, Usagi!
<Usagi> Yeep!! o_o So much for being assertive.

all my friends at the Sailor Pleiades RPG!

<Mamoru> Never heard of that RPG, neither.
<Ami> She probably made it up to give us the illusion that she has friends.. *snorts*
<Usagi> My gosh, Ami, that was really... mean. Wow.
<Ami> I have a right to get down and dirty with these fanfic authors too, you know. I'm not just here for show! -_- 
<Makoto> Yeah, it's time Ami finally does something progressively aggressive!
<All> *cheer for Ami*
<Ami> Allright, allright, point taken. Stop making fun of me. You've hurt my pride.

  I loooove you guys!! **kisses**

<Taiki> *slobbers all over fanfic author* Ooh, and I luuuuv yew, too! *squishy voice*
<Mamoru> Whoa now!! Hands off, you scary fanfic writer-type girl, you!!!
*All hide behind the sofa in a general protest of being smothered by appreciative kisses for making fun of an idiot*

Plus everyone else that have encouraged me! And of course... To my best friend 
Sailor Universe Limbo! 

<All> ... *just stare in general confusion and distaste*
<Mamoru> Err.... *points to name* Wha.. wha...
<Ami> Speak up, you loser! *smacks Mamoru's back*
<Mamoru> Urk!! *doubles over and hyperventilates on Ami's shoes*

YAOI-WARNING on this one! Nothing graphical, but still...

<Taiki> ..Oh darn. -_-
<Mamoru> *doubles over and hyperventilates on Ami's shoes*
<Ami> AAARGH! NOT AGAIN!
<Mamoru> Rats, and I was SO hoping for a lovely bout of graphical yaoi hanky-panky.
<Usagi> Don't even joke about that, Mamo-chan. *hugs onto Mamo's arm agressively*

(Yaoi = boy-boy love, homosexuality). Don't flame me, I DID warn you guys!!! ^_~

Japanese words: Oniisama - very polite way of saying "big brother"

It takes place after Sailor Stars...

Sailor Bishouju Senshi Sailor Moon Starlight Legend: Episode 214
Akira's heartache, why isn't love ever easy?

<Rei> Well.. but it IS easy. Sometimes.
<Minako> Case in point.. *elbows Usagi, who is vacantly drooling over her Mamo-chan*
<Usagi> Even if Mamo cheats on me a hundred times, if he hexes me, if he tries to knock me off a bridge or throw me off a cliff, 
I'll STILL loooove hiiiim! ^-^ *giggle*
<Rei> Righto. -_-;

[OP - Everlasting Tomorrow]

A small girl was running on an old street in Tokyo, someone following her. 

<Usagi> And the random guy with the BSSMSL script jogs along after her, screaming for the death of her writer...
<Rei> Hey, it's a liberal-minded, bad fanfic-burning citizen of Neo Tokyo. : P
<Minako> Maybe if we're lucky he'll set her on fire. 

Suddenly the 
girl turned around and looked at her follower.

Girl: Eiji-oniisama, hurry up! We'll be too late for the race!
Eiji: I'm comming, Hiroko, I'm comming!

<Mamoru> Oh my god, he's comming. Better get out the raincoats, everyone.
<Taiki> He's comming! Oh god, oh god...
<Makoto> Eeew, you sickos. *sticks tongue out, disgusted, and pokes Taiki violently so that he falls out of his chair*
*All get out their rain gear so as not to be commed upon.*


As Eiji and his sister continued walking, a shadow creapt up behind them...

<Taiki> Oh god, oh god, it's comming...
<Makoto> *giggles* Taiki, you freak!

[Title Screen]

<Taiki> OH GOD!!! THERE IT IS!! _RUN_!!!!! *screams maniacally and dives underneath his desk, clinging onto Makoto's leg 
for dear life*
<Ami> *gets jealous* He never clings onto MY leg like that.
<Taiki> Oh, sorry, beg your pardon, Ami, here. *crawls over with some effort and grabs onto Ami's leg*

A small bird flew over a few rooftops, landing on the top of the last one.

<Mamoru> Um.. hurray. Does this have anything to do with anything?

 Down on the ground
sat Akira and he was looking in a big book.

<Minako> To answer your question, Mamoru, NO, the bird was just a rather pointless.. object of pointlessness, I guess.
<Usagi> *as Akira* I'm a big boy now. I read big books! *somewhat stupidly*
<Rei> Yes, yes, that's really nice, Akira. How's the alphabet memorization comming along?
<Taiki> Oh god, oh god...
<Usagi> BIG BOOKS!
<Rei> Yeah, that's REALLY NICE!
<Usagi> I'M TALKIN' BIG, FAT, HUMONGOUS BOOKS OF LEARNING! I MEAN.. HUGE! JUST HUGE! YAW! *pulls out a gigantic
 5-foot thick Thesaurus from seemingly nowhere*
<Taiki> *eyes bulge out* M-mu... my... *gets all sparkly* Aah, my lovely, lovely book, where have you BEEN all my life? I simply
 must have you! Your boundless resource of knowledge will give me comfort on many a cold night! *glomps onto the big book 
and sighs contentedly*
<Ami> Hey now! *sob* What about me?!

 It was a collection of different paintings and 

statues, all recembeling men in different ages. 

<Mamoru> Heh, wait a minute. Is Akira looking at kiddie porn?
<Minako> *snickers* Oh my, it's a huge PORN book! Taiki, thou hast been deceived!
<Ami> *bounds over and rips off the cover of the Thesaurus, revealing it to be a gigantic book of male pornography* HA! HA HA! 
Here's the REAL love of your life, Taiki! KIDDIE PORN! Flaming homosexual porn! 
<Taiki> *watches his dreams crushed before his eyes* N.... nooooo.... it can't be...
<Mamoru> Welp, you win some, you lose some. Don't look so morose, you hermaphroditic pedophile. *pats Taiki's shoulder*

Akira smiled and put the book in a huge bag. 

<Usagi> *pulls out a HUGE bag, the likes of which the world has never seen* I'm so cool! I can pull out HUGE books and HUGE 
bags from anywhere! 
<Makoto> How about you pull out a HUGE shut-the-hell-up? -_-;
<Usagi> But, like, uhh... I dunno where to find one of those. *sweatdrop*
<Makoto> Right here. *takes gigantic porn book and shoves it down Usagi's throat*
<Ami> Ye gads, Makoto, what uncalled-for violence!! If she chokes on that the future as we know it will crumble and fade into 
nothingness! Shame on you! *shakes her finger at the unrepentant Makoto*
<Makoto> ..ooh. Fine. *removes the blockage from Usagi's larynx*

Akira: (thougths)

<Mamoru> Whats? He done what?
<Taiki> I have no clue... ^^;

 I've spotted the perfect man for me... I can't be wrong this time! Oooohhhh,
we're going to have sooooooo much fun, holding hands, kissing, sharing food, taking long 
strolls along the beach...

<Minako> Are you sure that's Akira and not Usagi?
<Rei> Because that sounds an awful lot like Usagi.
<Makoto> Hey, maybe they'll end up being twins in this story or something. Wouldn't that be kewl? : )
<Usagi> *glares in the general direction of Makoto and clings to Mamoru, thusly cutting off circulation to his brain*
<Mamoru> *squeaks* Usa..gi.. let.. go.. can't.. think.... 0_o

Akira grinned, super deformed and started prancing down the street.

<Taiki> Hey, no fair. They verbed SD. 
<Minako> So?
<Taiki> *haughtily* She's not allowed to verb super-deformed as an action! That's just not right!
<Mamoru> *giggles with delight as little SD Akira prances down the street* Oh, look at 'im go! He's such a cute lil' fella! ^_^
<Usagi> NANI?? *suffocates Mamoru in her attempt to keep him from reading*

Usagi yawned and clung herself to Mamoru's arm.

<All> *turn to look at real-life Mamoru and Usagi... turn to look at the screen... then back to real-life Mamoru and Usagi...*
<Rei> It's just UNcanny.
<Taiki> Whoo, spooky, even. It's revelationary!

 He smiled down at her, then looked up at the 
sun.
It was a very nice day and the weather was great. As the couple walked past an alley, someone 

was standing there, watching them. It was Akira. He smiled to himself.

Akira: (thoughts) And here he is! My man, my very own wonderful hunky man! 

<Mamoru> ... waaaaaaah! *bursts out into tears*
<Minako> Oh goodness, poor Mamoru! It's okaaay, Mamoru, it's okay... *gets upset*
<Mamoru> *whines* He's going to try to have sex with me!
<All> *start bawling* Waaaaaaahh!!!
<Usagi> *beats herself with a golf club*

Just have to loose 

Usagi somehow... 

<Usagi> Don't you even think of loosening me, buddy. *narrows eyes*
<Makoto> Yeah, she's loose enough as it is, we don't need her any screwier, thanks.

He jumped forward and ran after the couple:

Akira: Usagi-chan!!! Yo, Usagi-chan!!!
Usagi: Akira-kun! How are you?
Akira: Just dandy, never been better! And you??? And hello there...

He looked very intensely at Mamoru and he smiled uncertanly.

<Mamoru> *bawls* Keep it away!!
<Usagi> *shields Mamoru from the nasty fanfiction*

Akira: I'm Akira! Pleased to meet you!
Mamoru: Chiba Mamoru. Pleased to meet you.
Akira: Oh boy oh boy, you're a real looker, aren't you? And Usagi-chan has you all to herself? 

<Taiki> Uuummmm.... *gets kind of scared by this foreward advance by Akira-kun.*

No fair!!

<Usagi> WAY fair!! You back off my Mamo-chan! *stands defiantly in front of Mamoru, who is balled up in his chair*
<Rei> Usagi, my dear, the gay little man's not going to get you. He's in the _fanfic_. Fan-fic. Do you understand?
<Usagi> *growls* I don't care!! He.. he could still jump out of the machine thingy and steal my man! Grrrr!
<All> *smack foreheads*

He pouted and then strolled along.

Akira: Don't let me interrupt you by all means! Enjoy your day, and I'll see you later! Bye!!!
Usagi: Bye, Akira-kun! And keep your paws of my Mamo-chan!!

<Taiki> He has paws of her Mamo-chan?
<Mamo-chan> I have paws?? ^_-

Mamoru: Eh...

<Mamoru> Exactly.

Usagi: Don't mind him, he's just gay, that's all!

<All> *fall over laughing*
<Taiki> Oh god, oh god, he's gay! *laughs so hard that he nearly chokes and dies*
<Mamoru> You know, I think I'll change my favorite line ever to come out of a bad fanfic to THIS one. Ha ha ha! >.< *tears of 
laughter*

Mamoru: Eh... Right.

And he blushed.

<Minako> Oh.. my... god. He didn't.
<Ami> But he DID.
<All> AAAIIIIIEEE!!! *bash into each other in an attempt to run cheesily away from the blushing Mamo-chan*
<Mamoru> *tries to blush* Damnit, why can't I ever do anything on cue? Bah.
<All Girls> Well, we've had plenty of practice! *all blush on cue*
<Mamoru> Oh sure, rub it in my face, why don't you. 

Akira rounded a corner and suddenly looked sad.

<Taiki> Because it was a sad corner. You know?
<Usagi> Yeah, man, sometimes I go around a corner and I think, "God, that corner was sad. I mean, it was just depressing. 
Now I need some St. John's Wort." You know what I mean?

Akira: (thoughts)

<Taiki> No!! They're verbing 'thought'! You can't just.. VERB thought! It's not right!
<Ami> *gnaws on a pencil* Can't.. stand... verbing... people...
 

No use... I guess he's pretty wrapped up around Usagi-chan, and he doesn't 
seem gay. 

<Makoto> ..or so you would THINK. *cue suspicious muzak*
<Mamoru> Hey, leave my personal lifestyle out of this! I'm not gay!
<All, minus Usagi> *snicker* Heh heh, suuure you're not.
<Rei> If Akira thinks you're gay, then you're gay!

Maybe I should just give up. I'll never find anyone, never... Who would want me 
anyway?

<Taiki> Oh god, oh god, I want you, Akira. *nearly dies from hilarity*
<Mamoru> Hee hee! I *so* want you, Akira! Wheeee!
<Makoto> Oh, fer crying out loud, you guys. *shakes head disapprovingly*

A young handsome man walked by him and Akira got all starry eyed.

Akira: HE might want me!

<Mamoru> Aw, waaait, come back, I still want you! *makes pouty face*
<Usagi> *yelps* NO, Mamo-chan! That's not funny!
<Taiki> YES, it is. *places finger on Usagi's forehead and pushes her away from Mamoru's area of personal space*

And he ran after the man a few blocks, until the man looked confused at him. Then Akira smiled, 

blushing and the man went on, ignoring Akira. Akira looked sad again.

Voice: Not your day, huh? 

<Mamoru> Is it turning into a Viagra commercial, maybe? Sort of like, "well, when nobody wants to have gay sex with you, you
 can always get off on your own with the help of Viagra"?
<Minako> Naw, a St. John's Wort commercial, more than likely..

Akira turned around. Now you saw Eiji and his kid sister. Eiji was the one who had spoken.

Akira: No guys think I'm pretty, Eiji-kun! I don't know what I'm doing wrong!
Eiji: Maybe you're just too persistant? 
Akira: You think? Noooooo, that couldn't be it! I'm just me, anyway... 
Eiji: Yeah. Real pushy.
Akira: You're no fair, Eiji-kun!
Eiji: Listen up, Akira. This is the world, right?

<Rei> Why, son, you lost?
<Minako> *pulls out her road map* Nope, this here's Epsilon Bootes. You want the world, son, you gotta hang a right at th' 
nearest star and keep a-headin' foreward 'til dawn. 
<Makoto> Now look here, Peter Pan, give the man some real directions.
<Minako> Ok. YES, this is the 'world'! Our world! Crime, misery, poverty, incest... *pauses to allude to Michiru and Haruka's dub 
traversings* .. war, and a bunch of humanoid inhabitants who can't even take care of their own environment. Sucks, doesn't it?
<Ami> And thanks goes to Minako for today's dose of reality. *glare* You've made us feel so much better.
<Taiki> Well, actually she has. If you think about it, we're trapped down here with no connections to the outside world which is 
presently sucky. We've been delivered from suckiness, so to speak.
<Minako> You almost make it sound like we should be thanking Pendrell for doing this to us.. traitor. Et too, um... what was that 
guy's name?...
<All> *sweatdrop*

A really scary and cruel place if you 
don't watch out. The likes of you could easily be abused, frozen out or even killed. 
Just for being you. You CAN'T go around all the time, acting like everyone in this freaking place are as purehearted 

<Mamoru> .. yet morally compromised!...

as you. It just doesn't work. You'll just end up hurt. Or worse. 

<Usagi> Especially if you keep hitting on my Mamoru like that. *gets out the big Club of Bashing and thumps it in her hand
 menacingly*

You should remember that, for your own good, Akira.
Akira: Naaawwww, I don' wanna! 

<Ami> Now, don't be crabby, young man, we know it's past your naptime, but do try to be pleasant.

That's booooring! 

<Taiki> Oh yeah? Well, BOOOORE this! *removes a scientific object of sorts, presses a button, and causes his monitor to blow up.*
<All> *fall out of their seats, mostly by involuntary reaction*
<Makoto> Jeeez! Taiki!! Just calm the hell down, okay?! No need for ruining expensive machinery because you can't handle the 
gay boy.
<Taiki> *fizzles with repressed rage*

Hey, what about I'll treat you and 
Hiroko-chan on a sundae, what about it?

<Rei> ..er.. ON a sundae? Come again? -_-;;
<Ami> They're going to frolick in the land of giant sundays now. : )

Hiroko: Yaaay! That sound's great! Please, Oniisama? Pleeeeeeaaaaaze!!!

Eiji sweatdropped and facevaulted.

<Mamoru> Oooh, I wanna do that. *attempts to vault over Ami's computer desk with his face*
*CRUNCH*
<Makoto> Ugh. That was not pretty.
<Mamoru> *groans*
<Usagi> Um, I suppose we should do something... right?
<Taiki> Much as I enjoy seeing Mamoru mutilize himself. ^_^
<Ami> I'm going to be a doctor! Let ME handle it! *shoves her way over to Mamoru and prepares to fix his face*
<Rei> What you gonna do?
<Ami> I will perform reconstructive surgery with nothing but this pencil, a keyboard, and a piece of bent metal! *assumes the 
God-stance, arms reaching upward, with lightning striking in the background*
<All> *watch Ami go to work*
<Minako> Oh, Christ, Ami, you've made him look like RuPaul.. no, wait.. don't do that! ..oh gross... ew..
<Mamoru> *cries* I just want to look normal!
<Ami> Well why didn't you say so? *finishes reconstructive surgery and gives him a head bandage* There! All done!

Eiji: As you wish. But not too expencive, Akira! You hear?
Akira: Sure, sure! Just remember to order the biggest sundae there is, okay, Hiroko-chan?

<Taiki> Man, Akira just never listens to anybody at all!
<Pendrell> Hey you guys! I checked out an Akira FAQ... Akira's not gay.
<All> AWW! *droop*
<Taiki> Spoil our fun!
<Pendrell> And he isn't loud or obnoxious like this guy. *adjusts glasses* Just so you know. Other than the name he has no
 relationship to the real, non-gay, non-obnoxious Akira at all. *exits royally*
<Minako> *calls out after the door shuts* ... you suck!
<Makoto> No offense here, Mina, but what the hell good was that suppos'd to do?? 
<Minako> *shrug* I.. I don't know... but it felt right.. ^^;

Hiroko: Yeah!

Eiji sighed.

[CM Break]

Furst's minion, a dark clad figure with thin male feauters looked at Hiroko and licked his 
lips.

<Mamoru> Mmm. Tasty humans.

Minion: There we surely have a Heart of Love for Furst. I'll get her!

In the meantime, Usagi had left Mamoru

<Usagi> 0o Gack!!
<Mamoru> Woohoo!!!
<All> *stare at Mamoru*
<Mamoru> *drops hands* ..uhh... I mean.. darn. Darn it. Yes.
<Rei> --; You're not that convincing, Mamoru.

 and was now eating an icecream together with Naru 
and Umino. Umino had a milkshake and Naru a strawberry sundae. Eiji, Akira and Hiroko
stepped inside the diner. Akira spotter Usagi and her friends and greeted. Eiji gave a short 

nod and Naru and Umino stared at him.

Naru: Usagi-chan, you know that guy?
Usagi: Mmhm.
Naru: But... But... He's a criminal, I've seen his face on those "wanted dead or alive" posters!

<Mamoru> *lifts his hands up and places them in a picture-frame position* "Wanted: Extremely Gay and Flagrantly Homosexual! 
If you are a moral citizen, you will shoot this person on sight simply because of his gender preference!"

Usagi: Dead or alive?
Naru: Well... You know what I mean! He's dangerous!

<Taiki> Oh, hyuk hyuk hyuk. *rolls eyes* Spare us your cheesy jokes.

Usagi: Listen, I know he looks a bit spooky,

<Rei> Pooky?
<Minako> No. Spooky.
<Rei> ..oh. But I want him to be a pooky.
<Makoto> Me too! ^.^
<Makoto and Rei> *hold up a 'Hurray for Pookies!' sign*

 but you can't judge a person so easily, Naru-chan.
You just don't do that. It's immoral or something.

<Rei> Um, yeah, that's right, you're immoral if you're judgmental. *shakes head*

Naru: Usagi-chan! That's a first, hearing you talk like that! Why all of a sudden?
Usagi: What, I'm not allowed to be serious? Is that what you're saying?
Naru: Not at all! Usagi-chan, what's wrong with you?

<Rei> Well, for starters-- *is abruptly shut up by Mamoru* Mmph!!
<Mamoru> Listen, Rei, if you feel like hearing an Usagi WhineFest today, keep going, but otherwise, for the sake of our sanity 
AND our ears..
<All> PLEASE!.. *moan in exasperation*
<Mamoru> .. don't try to fix Usagi. She's fine as she is, all neurotic and freaky.
<Usagi> Eh? What's 'neurotic' mean?? ^_-
<Mamoru> Um... you know, sort of like erotic, only.. cutsier. Yeah!
<Rei> *twitch* 'Cutsier'??
<Taiki> I believe he was looking to say 'cuter'.
<Usagi> Ooooh! Tee hee, Mamo-chan's so sweeeeeet! *babble babble babble*

Usagi: Nothing's wrong with me... It's just... Just...

<All> Yes?? YES??! *get so excited they freak out and start bouncing in their seats*
<Pendrell> Sorry, testees, but I must end the story here, sadly. I have things to do, you know, so... for now.. you're free to go. 
<Taiki> *mumbles* By the time you're ready for part two I'll be hightailing it down to Tahiti with a pair of swim trunks, a Hawaiian
 shirt, and an inflatable raft.
<Pendrell> And IF you should try to escape your next review section, I'll hunt you down, make you read the story all by your 
lonesome, then roast and eat your innards. How's that sound, Taiki? -_-
<Taiki> *sobs* DEAR GOD, YOU HEARTLESS CANNIBAL! Leave me alone!! >.<


To be continued.. later.

"Usagi: Don't mind him, he's just gay, that's all!"