titled in ridiculously large font! yes!

as reviewed by pretty much everyone but the outers and poor ol' Cape Boy.

Greetings!

<Seiya> Hola!
<Ami> Guten Tag!
<Usagi> Konnichiwa! ^_^
<Yaten> Howdy howdy howdy! *pulls out a rifle and fires it into the air; the bullet richochets off the 
ceiling and pings around the room, managing to give Rei a free haircut and nearly volunteer Taiki for 
emergency nasal surgery.*
<All> AAAHH!!! 
<Minako> NEVER DO THAT AGAIN! *slaps Yaten silly*

 This is my first attempt to write a fanfic, so bare with me!

<Taiki> You know when the author misspells 'bear' in the second sentence it's going to be bad...
<Rei> Now now, let's not be quick to judge.
<Seiya> Bare with me! *throws off his shirt and dances on his desk*
<Rei> Stop that! This is a fanfic review, not a nudist colony!

  All credits go to 
Naoko Takeuchi, for creating all these wonderful characters!

<All sing holy praise of Takeuchi-san>

 Sailor Crescent is created by 
me alone! ^_^

<Ami> You and, like, fifty other unimaginative fanfic authors.
<Taiki> Yeah, I remember the one about a Sailor Moon Crescent that we ran across once... but fortunately 
for us, Pendrell forgot to save its location. Heh. ^^
<Pendrell grumbles from  somewhere outside the review chamber.>
<Minako> Yeah, not so high and mighty now, are you, Pendrell? You're running out of fanfics to make us read! 
Ha ha hah!!
<Pendrell> *door slides open and Pendrell sticks her head in alongside an angry fist* That's what you think! 
I'll have you know this particular gem of a fanfiction was sent to me by another source! She has superb taste 
in bad fanfiction! You have Miss Michiru to thank for this one! HAH!
*SLAM*
<Taiki> ... you mean..
<Rei> Other people are in on this, too?
<Usagi> This means that somebody out there is actually supporting senshi torture.
<Minako> I will kill them. As soon as I get out of here. Oh, and after I get my nails done. Then I will hunt 
them down and kill them. *evil glower*
<Ami> Eheh, Minako-chan, calm down.. no need for bloodshed.. ^^;
<Minako> DON'T SEND PENDRELL ANY MORE BAD FANFICTION! I DON'T WANNA GROW OLD AND NASTY SITTING IN HERE READING 
CRAPPY FANFICS! >_<
<Makoto> *sticks a needle in Minako's arm and gives her a good strong dosage of relaxants* Sheesh.

 As are Sailor Eon, Sailor Past and Sailor Present.

<Taiki> Fragment?
<Seiya> Not sure it's a fragment?
<Yaten> Gonna state everything as a question?
<All> Sure, why not?
<Minako> Open me, I'm Sailor Present! *points to her bow*
<Yaten> *obliges and unravels her red bow, then opens her head and peers in* Ooh, nothing whatsoever.
<Seiya> Sad indeed. Poor, brainless Minako-chan.

 Thank you, and enjoy! 

<All> No thanks, and we won't.

This one's for our cat, Lucy.

<Luna> If I were Lucy, I'd be insulted.
<Usagi> Hey. How did you get in here, Luna? ^_-
<Luna> Oops, time to go! *jumps out the nearest window*
<Taiki> Hey waitaminute, we don't have any windows! 
<Ami> Stupid Pendrell, quit creating loopholes for your unexplained plot points! -_-
<Makoto> Yeah, when you do stuff like that it makes you no better than a crappy fanfic author!

  Mom, dad and I still miss you, sweetheart! And Blackie's soooo 
lonely without his "little sister"! ;_;

<Seiya> Man, I'd feel so crappy if I were to make fun of this author for dedicating her story to a dead cat... 
and yet, the temptation is really there..
<Yaten> Ohh man, I know what you mean...
<Makoto> Just hold it in, guys, just hold it in.

Thank you, and enjoy! 

<Rei> Didn't they just say that? Two sentences ago?

Sailor Gotland

<Seiya> *jumps up, grabs a straw hat and does a hoedown* Yes, we got land, and plenty of it! 
<Yaten> Stop writing fanfics, you should really just shove it.
<Usagi> When will the oddity of it all end? WHEN?!

 (Flames or hopefully praise goes to:  sailorgotland@spray.se )

<Ami> Hopefully praise... hmm..
<Taiki> Well, _I_ certainly don't know how to approach it. Be my guest, Ami.
<Ami> Umm... ok. It's.. stupid. All of it.
<Makoto> *spinning in her chair* Waiting for you guys to stop stalling and get on to the 'fic! 

 PLEASE GIVE ME SOME FEEDBACK! Please?

<Makoto> NO!! The hell we will!
<Yaten> They go from commanding to pleading. Baaaad strategy, if you ask me.

SMALL YURI-WARNING on this one!

<Ami> See, look how TINY the Yuri warning is! SMALL YURI-WARNING! Oooh!
<Seiya> *snickers* Hey, Yaten. Yuri!
<Yaten> Oh boy oh boy, yahoooo!
<Both> *slap hands and giggle joyously*
<All> -_-

 Nothing graphical, but still...

<Ami> It never hurts to warn the audience ahead of time how sick of a mind you have..

(Yuri = girl-girl love, homosexuality). Don't flame me, I DID warn you guys!!! ^_~

<Minako> YEAH, so what. I'm still gonna flame mail you! Even if the story is magnificent and mind-capturing!! 
I WILL STILL FLAME MAIL YOU!! AAAAARGGH!!!! *yanks hair and gnashes teeth*
<Taiki> Pff, let's not get our hopes up. This story is going to blow.
<Yaten> Oo Did.. did my ears deceive me, or did those words come out of Taiki?
<Ami> *blush* My, Taiki, I've never seen you act so brash before!
<Usagi, Makoto and Rei> *roll eyes*

Japanese words: Nakushimi - Hatred/hate 

<Rei> This reference is provided so that the audience members may at any time yell it at the fanfic and/or 
author of the aforementioned garbage.

It takes place after Sailor Stars...

<Seiya> Well, whoopdeedoo.

Sailor Bishouju

<All> --;
<Makoto> Presenting Bishoujujy Fruits, delightful jelly candies in the shape of your favorite sailor senshi!
<Seiya> Mmm! This one tastes like burnt toast! It must be.. Super Sailormars!
<Minako> And THIS one tastes like tree bark! It must be Super Sailorjupiter! ^^

 Senshi Sailor Moon Starlight Legend: Episode 215

<Usagi> Have we missed something here?
<Minako> Say, about the first 14 episodes?

You can do it, Mako-chan! The greatest cook in school?

<Usagi> Who said that?
<Taiki> Huh? The greatest cook in school?
<Rei> Why is everybody asking so many questions?
<Seiya> Who are you?
<Rei> I'm Rei.
<Makoto> Did somebody say my name?
<Minako> *sings* Say my name, say my name, if you ain't runnin' game..
<Yaten> No. 
<Ami> Has anyone seen my glasses?
<Taiki> Aren't they there, on your head? *point*
<Ami> *blush* Why yes. So they are.
<Rei> STOP! STOP IITTTTT! YOU ARE ALL SICK, WEAK-MINDED FOOLS! 
<All> 0_0
<Yaten> Can't take a joke?
<Rei> NO MORE QUESTIONS!

[OP - Everlasting Tomorrow]

Furst was sulking.

<Seiya> Furst. Furst Gump.
<Makoto> Oh, stop it already. *knocks Seiya out of his chair for making such a lame joke*

 He sat on a high pedestal and looked out over the Underworld. 

<Usagi> Egads! Satan!
<Seiya> Only he's named Furst!
<Both> Aaah! *grab onto each other in fright*

He knew that if he didn't wise up soon and managed to get some artifacts to Ashita, he'd be 
killed, just like Devro.

<Makoto> Too many goofy names in a very _small_ amount of time. >_<

 He could feel the pressure upon him,
almost crushing him.

<Yaten> It was then that he finally realized he had been under the belly of the great white whale with 
Captain Ahab for the past 15 years.
<Seiya and Makoto> Yesss, crush him, crush him...

 Then you saw a Super Deformed Furst, trying
to hold up a huge rock with his bare shoulders.

<Taiki> Did you really see this SD Furst doing such things?
<Seiya> I saw the leprechaun in my backyard. He tells me to BUUUURN things. : )
<All> -_-; 

 He shook his head and the 
Super Deformed image disappeared. Furst gritted his teeth.

Furst: I will live. I will not fail. I will not!

<Yaten> Damned if that isn't the best line ever to come out of a bad fanfic.. *snicker*

[Title Screen]

<Usagi> Where? *looks around* I don't see anything.
<Pendrell> *appears somewhat randomly* What say we make this review more.. interesting?
<All> No thanks. 0_o
<Pendrell> Well, nutbunnies for you, I'ma do it anyway. *snap*
*the lights spark and die*
<Rei>.. well.. how.. wonderful.
<Yaten> Who said that?
<Ami> Who are you people? Where are my glasses?
<Taiki> Seiya-kun! Get your hands off that.
<Makoto> Yeep!! 
*creak creak*
<Seiya> Whassat? I can't see.
<Minako> Well, hello, genius, nobody can!
<Taiki> Somebody... is.. touching.. me... --;
<Usagi> Oops. Sorry, uh.. you person.
<Taiki> I am Taiki.
<Yaten> No you're not. _I'M_ Taiki.
<Taiki> WHAT??! You LIE!
<Seiya> I dunno about you guys, but I'm Seiya..
*THUMP*
<Minako> Hey!! Watch it!
<Rei> Someboddyyy... heeeeelp... I think I'm wedged under my desk..
<Makoto> *snap* I hope I didn't just step on somebody's leg.
<Luna> No, but you DID step on my tail.
<Ami> Usagi? You have a tail??
<Usagi> I'm over here, Ami-chan.
<Ami> *blush* Oh.
*the radioactive embarassment from Ami lights up the room to the point that everyone can see and get back 
to their desks*
<Usagi> Everyone, keep embarassing Ami until this review is over so that we can all see!
<Ami> NO! Look inside your drawers, there are flashlights! 
<Seiya> *pulls out his pants and looks down* Hey, there isn't a flashlight in my drawers.
<Yaten> Wrong type of drawers, Seiya. She meant DESK drawers.
<Seiya> Aaah. 
<All> *feel crummy because Seiya and Yaten made such a BAD pun.* -_-;
*All look in their desk drawers and pull out flashlights*

You saw Makoto's apartment.

<Usagi> We did?
<Yaten> Damned if I know.

 She was cleaning up, watering her flowers and singing quietly 
to herself. (The song she was humming was her Image Song: "Anata no sei janai".)

<Rei> Just a little extra info for all you Makoto stalkers out there that like to know every miniscule detail 
of her personal life.

 It was also 
played instrumentally as BGM. She straightened herself up, smiling into the camera. 

<Makoto> Finally I realize that the camera crew has been following my every action for the past half-decade!

Makoto: That ought to do it... 

She looked at the clock on the wall, gasping. 

<Ami> Oh no, she can't tell time!

Makoto: Oh no, now I'm way too late!! 

<Ami> Well, and that too... 

Change of scene and you saw the inners, including Felicia, in a big square.

<Minako> Ne? We did? I just do not see any of this.
<Rei> Who's Felicia? 
<Usagi> Too many questions and NO answers forthcoming, you guys!

 People wandered around everywhere, it was a school bazaar. Then you saw Makoto running towards the other 
girls. 

<Minako> Again, may I reiterate that I _never_ saw this! Never!! You people are hallucinating!


Makoto: Sorry I'm late! I'm very sorry! Please! 

<Makoto> Please! Oh please please please get me out of here.

Usagi: Calm down, Mako-chan! It's okay, really!!! 
Rei: Sure. You're still in time for the cooking contest. 
Ami: But please remember to sign up first! 

<Ami> After all, you wouldn't want to enter the baking contest illegally! 

Minako: And how important is that? The most important thing is that she bakes lots and lots 
of cakes, so that we can have all the leftovers! 

<Minako> Excuse me, but Mako-chan usually gives us our own gourmet cakes anyway, not.. *wrinkles nose*.. 
leftovers.
<Rei> Yee-hoo! Let's work Mako-chan like a slave over the oven with no consideration for her feelings or 
opinions on the subject! It doesn't matter if she dies, as long as we get us some CAKE!

Felicia: Minako-chan, really...! Do you're best, Mako-chan! Good luck! 

<Taiki> Oooh, the grammar. Oh lordy, the grammar. *drops head onto desk in embarassment*
<Minako> No fair, they're playing me off against this goody-goody Felicia chick.

Makoto smiled at her friends, but she looked a bit nervous. On a banner a few steps away, 
it said: The Juuban High Cooking Contest. Underneath was a small booth and a sign in front 
of it said: Sign up here! Makoto walked over, slowly. Suddenly Felicia followed her. 

<Makoto> IIIEEE! KILL HER! *karate chops her keyboard in two*
<Usagi> Agh! *_*

Felicia: Wait up, Mako-chan! I'll come with you! 
Makoto: Thanks! But, why? 

<Yaten> Yes, Mako-chan, be suspicious, be very suspicious.
<Taiki> *gasp* But, how?
<Seiya> My but, isn't the grammar just getting to you, Taiki?

Felicia: I think you could use the company. I'll support you, okay? 

<Ami, Rei, Usagi and Minako> FRIEND STEALER! 
<Minako> As if we weren't lending enough support to Makoto!
<Rei> Yeah, you dirty bitch!

Makoto: Oh... Yeah, okay. Thank you so much, Bara-chan! 

<Seiya> Ehm? Felicia, anyone? Bara-chan? Explanation needed...

Felicia: Don't mention it! 

<Usagi> Oh, piss off, *Bara*-chan. -_-

Furst snapped his fingers and a young, beautiful woman stepped up to him. She bowed and he 
smirked. 

<Rei> She ran and he applied to Devry for a college-level education.
<Seiya and Yaten> *start snapping repeatedly*
<Taiki> No, you two do not have the power to make hookers appear by snapping your fingers.
<Yaten> No, but we sure do have a snazzy snap! ^_^ It's such a cool intro, don't you think?
<Rei> Nah, it's quite goofy in comparison to ours.
<Three Boys> *droop* Thanks, Rei.

Furst: Your target is this girl, Nakushimi... Make sure you bring out the passionate powers 
that dwell inside of her. This way, her artifact will be all the more powerful. Do you understand?

<All> No. Not at all. 

Nakushimi: I understand, Lord Furst. You can rely on me. 
Furst: Let's hope so. Because, if the Sailor Senshi doesn't kill you, should you fail, be 
sure I will do it instead. 

<Taiki> Well damn. If I knew that, I wouldn't come back in case of failure, I'd high-tail it down to Bermuda 
and live a life of reclusion.
<Ami> As would we all! 
<Seiya> What is this 'Sailor Senshi' thing? It's singular.
<Makoto> Ooh, the Sailor Senshi Thing that came from Hell!
<Usagi> Like Furst, only.. not.

Nakushimi swallowed hard and then vanished. Furst smiled at the holographic picture of the 
girl that floated in front of him. Now you could see the picture properly as well. The girl 
was Makoto. 

<Seiya> He downloaded Mako merchandise off the net!
<Yaten> They're selling your personal information, Makoto! They've got you wired!! *dashes over to Makoto 
and rips open her shirt*
<Usagi> X_X Ack!
<Makoto> WAAAGH!!! How dare you, lecher!! *picks up Yaten and hurls him across the room*
<Rei> I see no wire. It appears you were wrong, Yaten. ^^;
<Yaten> Ooogh... @_@

Nakushimi ambushed one of the female judges of the cooking contest and snapped her fingers. 

<Seiya> *gasp* She's turning the judge into a hooker! Noooo!
<Makoto> My dignity.... my... my integrity.... *sits, arms crossed protectively, staring at the wall*
<Yaten> *gurgles behind the couch*

The woman disappeared into thin air,

<Seiya> When you go to hell, you'll go to SlimFast Hell. Where everything is thin, even the air!
<Makoto> *bites Seiya* Rrrr!
<Seiya> Aaiiiee!! Calm down, Makoto! It was just a crappy joke!

 a scream of pure agony escaping her. Nakushimi smiled 
and then transformed herself into the now dead woman. She stepped out in the sunlight and walked 
over to the judge's booth. 

Makoto walked out from a door, wearing a short, pink dress with a big, white apron tied around 
her waist. Her hair was tied up into a braid for once. She walked over to a table and before 
her were all kinds of different ingredienses. 

<Ami> *growls* 
<Taiki> MOLESTOR OF THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE! >.<

Announcer: The contestant will now bake an English fruitcake, in less than one hour.

<All> *try to suppress laughter*
<Seiya> HOO HA HAH!!


 A lot 
of things are prepared before, but this is the real challenge! They have to make not only a 
pretty cake, but a good tasting one, AND then... They have to put it up on a plate, make some 
coffee; we have fresh coffee beans here, ladies and gentlemen, and serve each and every one 
of the judges! From different plates! And different coffee cups, of course.

<Makoto> Hah, I'll forcefeed them from the same plate and make them drink lukewarm coffee.
<Seiya> From the same cup... heh heh heh, such dirty tactics, Makoto.

 Freshly made each 
time! The one that manages to do that within the hour, will receive this great prize: A weekend 
on the Moonlight Hotel over at Crimson Lake, where they can

<Taiki> .. apparently sit on the roof all week, seeing as you said 'on the Moonlight Hotel'.

 eat and enjoy themselves as much 
as they want!

<Minako> Eat and become fat, so we can slaughter them and put them in the cafeteria meatloaf next week! 
Hu hu hu! *cackle*
<Usagi> Aah, Mina-chan!! >_< Yeeew!

 How about that?! 

<All> *jump up and down excitedly*
<Seiya> *starts drooling*

Makoto looked pale and she gave Felicia, who was in the audience together with the other girls, 
a frightened look. Felicia smiled reassuringly. 

<Rei> Oh, suuure, Makoto-chan, don't look to US, your best friends for LIFE, to reassure yourself. Bah!
<Makoto> *shrug* I dunno what this author-type chick is thinking. I've never heard of this Bara-chan thing 
before in my life!

Announcer: Get set... Ready... BEGIN!!! 

[CM Break]

<Minako> Chibi Moon Break? Nani?
<Seiya> Corrupted Monkey break?
<Usagi> Or perhaps commercial break.
<All> Ah.

The next sequence was of Makoto and the other contestant making the best of what they had. 

<Seiya> Jeez, only two contestants. This'll be finished off faster than the cake at Usagi's birthday party.
<Rei> Nothing could be that fast. *sideward glare at Usagi*
<Usagi> But it was my cake! I didn't want to share!
<Minako> Usagi-chan, you _could_ have left us a few scraps, though... -_-
<Usagi> *wail* But.. but it was sooooo gooooood!!
<All> *plug ears*


[BGM: Makenai, Sailor Stars opening, short version] 

Usagi looked at Makoto, smiling. She also looked at the others, smiling even more.

<Makoto> She's playing favorites again! First me, then Usagi.. our fanfic selves are mean, mean, mean.

 But as 
she happened to look at one of the female judges, her smile disappeared. You could see her 
brioche glimmer slightly and she frowned. 

<Usagi> Brioche? o_0
<Taiki and Ami> Gaaah! *looks of horror*

Usagi: (quietly) Something's not right... 

<Yaten> Oh, SOOO perceptive, Sailormoon! Cripes! 

[End of BGM] 

<Usagi> Begin suspicious BGM.

The female judge, Nakushimi, called the contestant forth, one by one,

<Yaten> *snicker*
<Taiki> Yup, all two of 'em! First Makoto, then the other sap with absolutely no chance of winning!

 after tasting their 
recipes. When she called Makoto forth, you could see the other judge's eyes. They were total 
blank. Nakushimi/the judge looked at Makoto, her eyes cold as ice. 

<Minako> Say, Rei, are your eyes cold as ice? I want to see! *pokes Rei's eyes*
<Rei> AAAGH!!! Excruciating.. pain.... >_0
<Minako> Nope, they were kinda lukewarm. Like Makoto's coffee.
<Makoto> *cringes away from scary Minako*

Nakushimi/Judge: You are not good! Fact is, I was almost choking on this one. Why did you 
ever sign up for this competition? You are worthless! Other Judges: ...Worthless. Totally worthless... 


Makoto looked sky stricken, devastated.

<All> ..? -.-
<Seiya> Oh, apparently someone has struck the sky.
<Taiki> That would be 'has striken,' you ninny. 'Has striken.'
<Seiya> Well, pardon ME for forgetting the difference between past tense and.. whatever else! Blah! You
know darn well that I failed my sophmore English class! Why do you always have to bring up my weaknesses?
*loses his composure and cries like a baby* Why, Taiki, why?!
<Taiki> *sob* I-I'm sorry, Seiya! I forgot how touchy that subject is! Waaaaah!
<Both> *cling to each other, sobbing hysterically* 
<Everybody Else> *look at Seiya and Taiki rather oddly* -.-;

 Tears came to her eyes. 

<Yaten> Now, normally Makoto would have gone kung-fu on their miserable judge asses by now...

Makoto: Worthless...? But I... I tried so hard, I worked so hard for this... You can't mean 
it! I'm good, I know I am! Ma'am, please! 
Nakushimi/judge: Will you please get out of my way? Trashy girl... 

<Usagi> Makoto, the trailer trash girl!
<Makoto> *sticks Usagi's flashlight in her mouth* Less corny comments from you, odango.

You have no place here; 
you're a disgrace for the entire gastronomical world! 

<Usagi> What a pitifully lame insult... gosh, this fanfic really does suck.
<Rei> We'll have to thank Miss Michiru for sending it to us later.. 
<Minako> Yeah, we'll thank her alright... *cracks knuckles menacingly*

Makoto stared, then turned around and run away.

<All> *slap foreheads*
<Makoto> Way to go, wussy fanfic me!

 The inners wanted to follow her, but Felicia 
held them back. 

Felicia: No, don't you see? She want's to be left alone right now! 
Rei: Of all the mean... 
Ami: Oh, Mako-chan... 

<Rei> ..do you know...
<Minako> ..how annoying it is....
<Makoto> ..when all dialogue..
<Usagi> .... gets chopped...
<Taiki> And.
<Rei> No sense...
<Yaten>.. makes?

Minako: I don't understand... Why...

<Taiki> .. must EVERY SINGLE meaningless soundbyte be forced upon us by this author..
<Seiya> *sings*.. do you like playin' around with... my.. narrow scope of reality? I...
<Yaten> *joins in*..can feel it all start slippin'...
<Taiki> Enough of the singalongs, time to get back to business, fellows.
<Seiya and Yaten> Awww...

 Is that woman out of her mind?! 
Usagi: Maybe she isn't... the woman... 

<Ami> And Usagi makes a completely random jump of logic!
<Minako> Maybe she's the MAN!
<Yaten> You da man, judge, you da man!

Everybody turned around and stared at her. 

Rei: Usagi! 
Ami: Usagi-chan? 
Minako: Eh?? 

<Minako> *raises hands into the air cheesily* Eh?? That's Usagi? Well, I'll be darned! Usagi, have you
gotten plastic surgery or what? None of us can recognize you! That's why we're all staring at you and going
'eh?', I think!

Felicia: Well I'll be... 

<Minako> What the HELL is going on with these freaks?! Such horrible dialogue! Gads!
<Taiki> I'll agree with you there, Minako..

Rei: What do you mean, Usagi? 
Usagi: I mean... There's something not quite right with her. She could be an enemy... I think 
we should keep close watch over her. 

<Makoto> Or how about you just go ahead and destroy her, huh?! COME ONNN! 

The female judge stood up and left the square. The inners followed her with their eyes. 

<Rei> Follow us, eyes, I think we've found a clue. *rolls eyes*
<Minako> Yeah, Usagi, don't forget your eyes.. *giggle*

Rei: All right! Let's go after her! After all, we have to follow the lead of our princess, 
right? 

<Rei> As if I'd ever say such a corny line! You'd have to pay me triple to spout out such crap!
<Usagi> Rei, you're such a....
<Taiki> Witch?
<Seiya> Jerk?
<Yaten> Sexy mother?
<Usagi> No, a meanie!
<Yaten> Great insult, Usagi. Way to go. *snicker*
<Usagi> *momentarily blinds Yaten with her flashlight*

She smiled at Usagi. 

Usagi: Quit it! Don't call me that. I'm no different. Let's just follow her, okay? 

Rei looked surprised, sad. 

<Rei> *as fanfic Rei* Dammit, my come on didn't work!
<Yaten> *flashes Rei in the face with his light* Ha ha!
<Rei> ARGH! *smacks him angrily with her flashlight*
<Ami> Now, children, remember the rules of flashlight safet-- 
*A flashlight bonks Ami upside the head*

Rei: Oh... Okay... 

<Yaten> *as Rei* It's ok, Usagi, I understand if you don't want to have hot lezzie s--
<Taiki> *duct tapes Yaten's mouth shut*

Makoto sat on a rock.

<Makoto> *rubs bum* Ouch, damn rocks.

 She had pulled the apron off and it lay on the ground, dirty. She cried, 
her head buried in her hands. A hand placed itself on her shoulder. 

Makoto: Go away! 

<All> Ok. *hurl Taiki at the door in an attempt to break it down and bust out*

Voice: I won't. 

<All> We can't. 
<Taiki> *lying on the floor, under the couch and dreaming.. sort of*
<Yaten> Mmf!

Makoto looked up and saw the judge. The judge leaned forward, her brow touching Makoto's. 

<Seiya> Aha, old Uni-Brow! *releases Yaten from his duct tape mouth prison*


Nakushimi/judge: I'm sorry if I upset you... It's just... You need to know what you can and 
can not do. Do you understand me? 
Makoto: Ehr... I... Well... But that gives you no right to say it in such a mean way! 

The judge smiled and then let her lips lightly touch Makoto's. Makoto pulled back, startled. 


Makoto: What are you...?!! 

<Taiki> *recovers rapidly* Either a man, a woman, or both.
<Yaten> Dunno 'bout you, Taiki, but I'm a man.
<Taiki> Or at least a boy relatively through with puberty. *coughs*

Judge: I like to be mean... 

<Seiya> Whoohoo, domintrix time!
<Yaten> Yes yes! >.< Whip that Makoto!

Then she straightened herself up and made a small gesture with her hand. The illusion of the 
female judge disappeared and was replaced with the real Nakushimi. Makoto bolted and pulled 
out her Henshin Pen. 

<Yaten> Dangit, Mako, just go ahead and ruin the mood!
<Seiya> *sigh* Drat.

Makoto: Jupiter Starlight Power...! 

<Seiya> Wait, wait, so THAT was our big warning scene? THAT was the Yuri? GADS! Talk about a gip..!
<Rei> There there, perverts, better luck next chapter. *pats the distraught Seiya on his shoulder*

Then Nakushimi's beam hit her and her Arrow of Belief came out. She cried out and then sunk 
unconscious to the ground. Nakushimi walked over and grabbed the Arrow. 

Nakushimi: This was easy. Thank you so much, pretty one... 
Voice: Stop it right there! 

<Yaten> *drops the butter knife and the inflatable Vegeta* I wasn't doing anything! Nothing at all!

Nakushimi turned around and spotted Starlight Sailor Moon. She made her speech. 

<Ami> *as Nakushimi* Who do you think you are, patronizing me like that, you dirty senshi?! I am Nakushimi, 
and my name name stands for hate and hatred, which is what I harbor for YOU! Bwahahah!! And in the name of 
Furst, I shall dominatrix you!
<Seiya> YAHOO! ^_^

Starlight Sailor Moon: You are really mean!

<All> *sweatdrop* ...

 First you pretend to be someone else and crushes 
poor Mako-chan's self-esteem, then you dare to harm her?! I won't forgive you! Agent of Love 
and Justice!

<Yaten> Little-known sidekick to the other agents of justice, Mulder and Scully!

 I'm the pretty sailor suited soldier Sailor Moon, and in the name of the moon, 
I shall punish you!

Nakushimi attacked Sailor Moon with a couple of energy blasts and Sailor Moon was in great 
difficulties.

<Taiki> She appears to either be in labor...
<Usagi> Eew! 0.o
<Taiki> .. or constipated.
<All> *point at Usagi and laugh mockingly* Your fanfic counterpart has gastrointestinal problems!
<Usagi> Waaah! Screw off! >_< Meanies!!

 Then an attack came out of nowhere and hit Nakushimi. 

<Ami> Aw, damn it...

Voice: Moon Shade Strike! 

<Minako> So many people named 'Voice' in this fanfic.. confusing..

Moon: Sailor Crescent! 
Sailor Crescent: Born by accident,

<Rei> I knew it! Usagi and Mamoru have an illegitimate child!!

 needed in desperate times.

<Makoto> *mimics Crescent and pulls out a bottle of Maalox* In desperate times, Maalox'll do the trick! I am 
the bringer of gastrointestinal peace to the Moon Princess! Catch, Sailormoon!
<Usagi> *grabs the bottle and swills it down* Ugh. Thanks, Makoto.

 As the new moon forebodes the 
full, so I forebode the Moon Princess.

<Seiya> Eh? What the f**k is going on here? *gets all confused*

I am Sailor Crescent! 

On a roof top the Inners were standing, Sailor Crescent in the front. 

<Taiki> Up on the roof top, click click click... umm.. something about St. Nick... how's that go?
<All> *scratch heads* Don't ask us.
<Makoto> Up on the roof top, hee hee hee, danced and pranced a bunch of sailor sensh-i! 

Moon: Thanks, guys...

<Usagi> The Moon appreciates our silly sense of humor.
<All> *clap* Hurray!

 Now, as for you! 

She turned to Nakushimi, a dark look in her eyes. 

Moon: Starlight Serene Wish Reformation! 

<Minako> *squeaky voice* Starlight, Star Bright, Burn This Bad Guy and Send Them to Hell Tonight! Zap!
<Taiki> *stares at Minako's oddly South Park-esque antics*

Nakushimi died and the Arrow returned to Makoto. 
Later Makoto was announced the winner of the contest, and when she received the ticket to 
the hotel, she smiled brightly.

<Ami> *as fanfic Makoto* Finally, I can get away from those dorky friends of mine and spend a romantic 
week with Felicia on top of a hotel!

 She had tears in her eyes, but she looked very happy. 

<Makoto> *as herself* Must... keep smiling... pretend that I am happy.. in this evil fanfic...

[ED Starlight Dawn] 

<Seiya> Nrr.. that was definitely an experience.. bleh.
<Taiki> That just plain sucked. It was boring and the grammar could have fared better.
<Usagi> But overall it was relatively painless... ^^
<Ami> But was there any point to the judge berating Makoto?
<Taiki> I believe it had something to do with her Arrow of Belief... or.. something... ^^;
<All> Oh well. Ja ne, minna!



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