Taiki Kou blinked.  Realizing he had been on the receiving end of an unusually large dosage 
of anesthetics, he grimaced and sat up to find himself in an all-too familiar fanfic dungeon, complete
with evil computers and, not too surprisingly, Haruka, Michiru, and Setsuna. 
"Damnit! Abducted again!! Oh, uh... hello there, girls," he mumbled, weedling his way over to the three 
sleed-deprived senshi.
"Well well. Taiki, you're a genius of sorts. Why the hell haven't you come up with a decent plan to get
us out of here yet?" grumped Haruka, spinning lazily in her well-worn chair and swatting at Michiru's 
frazzled aquamarine hair each time she passed by. Michiru bit her finger and, turning abruptly, ended
playtime. "Let's get to it, you bums! Maybe If we hurry we can get out in time for brunch!!"
Taiki rubbed his eyes. "Brunch? Ugh. Don't make me think.. of food..." He wobbled nauseaously for 
emphasis.
"Well, you better darn well start thinking of a way to get us out of here. Elsewise I can promise I'll 
eat you with green beans and succotash for dinner tonight..." Michiru's voice trailed off to leave Taiki 
with a massive dosage of fear to go with those anesthetics.
Everyone else, scared to near-death by Michi's early-morning dominatrix streak, sat down and began to read
the fanfic.




A New Love for Haruka by Haruki (PG)

<Taiki> See, Haruka.... Haruki.. very subtle, isn't it?
<Haruka> PG... Then it's not going to be an EXCITING kind of new love for me, now is it? -_-
<Michiru> Nope, plain old bonding eternally of souls and all that boring type of stuff. 
<Setsuna> No wild carnal sexual acts for Haruka. Darn.

( chibizelda@yahoo.com )

 It was the Silver Millenium. Small Lady had already taken place as Sailor  Moon, the old senshi beside her, until their children 

where old enough to fight  alongside her. Every senshi had a daughter . . . except for Haruka and Michiru.

<Taiki> HAAIYAIIYAAAAAHH!!!!!! *keels over*
<Haruka> NANI YO, FANFIC?! THE HELL IS IT TRYING TO SAY??! -_0
<Setsuna> STOP SCREAMING IN ALL-CAPS! OUR AUDIENCE CAN READ SMALL PRINT JUST AS WELL, I'M SURE!
<Michiru> Heh, and we didn't have a daughter. No big surprise there. *innocent rolling of eyes*
<Haruka> 'Hem.. *coughs and follows up with a half-laugh*  right.

        They were quite statisfied with the way they lived.

<Haruka> Kinky sex all day and strange girl-girl love fiestas inbetween. Oh yeah, baby!
<Michiru> Mm, nobody can statisfy me like Haruka... *giggle*

 They both lived in the same apartment in Downtown Crystal Tokyo.

<Haruka> *shuffles her feet on the shag carpet beneath her desk*
<Michiru> ? Whatcha doing there, Haruka? Hm?
<Haruka> This. *pokes Michiru's nose; Michiru receives a lovely shock from her lover* 
<Michiru> *fzzt*.... *hair frazzles out* @_@
<Haruka> Mmm! Statisfied? *sly grin*
<Michiru>.. oh yes, baby! Gimme some more of that!
<Haruka> Yeah! *rubs feet on carpet and statisfies Michiru repeatedly* 
<Setsuna> ... *meekly* can I join in?
<Both turn and stare blankly at Setsuna.>
<Haruka> No. -_-
<Setsuna> ;>.<; Why nooot?!
<Taiki> Now then, Setsuna, we need no threesomes during this fanfic review. Just forget about them, 
they're too busy abusing the powers of static electricity to notice us. -.-

Women still believed Haruka was a man, 

and Michiru was still a talented violinist.

<Setsuna> God, Michiru, lose the talented violinist protocol already.

        " Michiru-chan!" Haruka said as she came up to Michiru. " How do you like 

my tux for the ball tonight?"

<Haruka> *holds up her Tux Boy expectantly* Welll? How do you like my Tuxedo Kamen-san, Michiru? 
Is it grand? Splendiferous??
<Michiru> Oh, you know I think that Tuxies are so passe, Haruka-CHAN.
<Haruka> ..Aw. *sets fire to Tuxedo Kamen* Bwahahahah!!

        " How about you wear a dress for once?" Michiru asked.

<Haruka> How about you doing me the honor of blowing me?
<Michiru> Harukaaa... --;

        " A dress?" Haurka said as she made a face. " I only wear dresses on 

SPECIAL occasions."

<Haruka> Namely Hannukah and Bryan Adams concerts.
<Michiru> Nani? But you've never worn a dress on Hannuka, OR to a Bryan Adams concert!
<Setsuna> Matter of fact, we've never even been to a Bryan Adams concert.
<Haruka> I know. If we HAD gone to an Adams concert we would've assassinated him.

        " This is special to me." Michiru said. " Please?"

<Michiru> Yeah, special because it's one of the few rare occasions that I can make Haruka wear a 
dress and embarrass herself.

        Haruka sighed. " Oh, fine. But nothing too fancy." She slowly walked back 

to the apartment.

<Setsuna> And Michiru comes back with a ruffled wedding-cake monstrosity of a dress....
<Michiru> *as fic Michi* Oh, wear it, honey, do it for meeee! Pleeeeeeeaaaase! *makes googly eyes at 
Haruka*
<Haruka> *fidgets* Umm... nrr....... oh, alright. -.-; *dons the big poofy pink.. thing.* It's all 
for you, Michi, I hope you realize that.



        Haruka fidgeted.

<Haruka> *fidget... fidget... fidget...*

 They were at the ball, and Haruka felt ver uncomfortable 

in a dress.

<Haruka> Damn strapless dresses, had to tape my nippies down. Sure is cold in here.
<Michiru> Heh heh heh.. ^^;


        " Ma'am, would you like to dance with me?" a man asked Michiru. She 

happily said yes, and they went out on the dance floor. Haruka felt left out. 

She sadly slumped down.

<Setsuna> And melted into a pile of gook.

        " Miss, are you in need of a dancing partner?" a voice said. Haruka looked 

up to see a very handsome man looking down at her. " You seem a bit left out."

<All> He read her mind! Oh joyous day! *smirk*

        " Ah, no thanks." Haruka said. She would never dance with a man.

<Michiru> Uhm, anooo, Haruka, you'd never dance with a man...? Then.. explain this.. *pulls out a 
photo of Haruka and Seiya drunk off their asses and jumping up and down in a pair of Party Nekkid 
shirts*
<Haruka> *flustered* Th-that..!! That didn't count!! Gimme that thing! *grabs the photo with her 
teeth and chews it to bits*

        " Ha, a stubborn one," the man said as he laughed. " Oh come now, it shall 

be fun." He lifted her up, and dragged her onto the floor.

<Haruka> *cries molestation*
<Michiru> *yelps* He's stealing my kinky sex partner! Oh noooo!


        They started dancing to a waltz. Surprisingly, the man was a very good 

dancer.

        Soon, Haruka got comfortable with dancing with him.

<Haruka> Comfortable to the point of resisting the urge to kill him brutally and violently..
<Setsuna> He's comfortable and easy-going, just like a pair of well-worn loafers.
<Michiru> Sweet Jesus, Haruka's fallen for a human Hush Puppy.

        " You are a very good dancer." the man commented. " I don't see why you 

didn't want to dance."

<Haruka> Maybe because I don't usually enjoy dancing with d*cks like you.

        " I don't enjoy dancing in dresses with men."

<Haruka> Or dancing with men in dresses.

 Haruka said. She quickly 

regretted what she said.

        " Oh, you must be one of those-"

<Setsuna> - those blasted no-good evil Michiru-molesting dirty old pedophilic goat-rapin' sailor scouts!

 He stopped. " Nevermind. My name is 

Hiyong Yo-Hang.

<All> -_-;; 
<Michiru> Holy jumping mother of Moses. >_<;

 Everyone calls me Yo, most of the time."

<Taiki> Yo..?? *gets a headache trying to comprehend the stupidity factor of it all*

        " I am Ten'oh Haruka." she said. " I am Sailor Uranus, Senshi of the Sky."

        " Ah, one of those Sailor Senshi."

<All> YES, one of 'THOSE'!

 he said. " You must be some sort of 

royalty, then."

<Michiru> Yeah, she's the Grand Poohbah High-and-Mighty Ass-Kicker of Serenity's Royal Senshi Guard.
<Haruka> I am? Cool. *snicker*

        " You could say I am connected with the Royal Family." she said with a 

smile. This guy isn't too bad, she thought.

<Haruka> Pretty damn stupid, but not too bad.

        " Well, Haruka-chan," he said after the dance was over.

<Haruka> Hey, dammit, he's not allowed to use that term of familiarity with me!
<Michiru> Neither am I, but oh well. The author is unaware of how to use the -chan suffix. ^^

 " Thank you for 

being my dancing partner. I hope we meet again in the future."

<Taiki> He then left to get himself cryogenically frozen so he could see Haruka in... the future! : D
Yes, that brighter tomorrow CAN be reached, as our friend Yo has demonstrated, through the technology
 of the day.
<Haruka> Silence, puny man! *flicks Taiki's nose, giving him a gushing, roaring nosebleed*
<Taiki> *loses blood pressure and faints*  *_*


 He bowed to her, 

and left with a smile.

        Haruka left to go rejoin with Michiru. Michiru looked mad.

<Michiru> How dare you let me gleefully run off and carelessly abandon you to the carnal, hungry 
sexual predators on the dancefloor?! Dammit, Haruka!

        " Who was he?" she said sternly.

<Haruka> Santa Claus.

        " Oh, you're allowed to dance with a guy but I'm not?" Haurka said.

<Taiki> Haurka?? *snorts*
Michiru> Hey, please meet my much-esteemed gender-confused escort, Haurka. Is it a man? Is it a woman? 
Or is it neither of the above? ^_^ Hee hee hee...
<Haurka> ..finds this not very easily amusing. *glare*

        " But this is you." Michiru said.

<Michiru> *points to the shag rug*
<Haruka> That's me? Huh. Well, you learn something new every day. *gets down on the floor and makes like 
a shag rug for Michi's enjoyment*
<Setsuna> If I had a dirty mind, I'd make an interesting comment about Haruka being Michiru's shag rug, 
but.. since...
<Taiki> You don't have a dirty mind....
<Both> *sweatdrop*
<Setsuna> It's so much harder to do a review with these guys.
<Taiki> They're in a class of dirtiness that is fathoms away from our own. --;

 " You've never danced with a man in your 

whole life." 

        " Maybe I should do it more often." Haruka joked.

        " Can we leave now?" Michiru asked.

<Haruka> Why, gotta go potty?
<Setsuna> *as fic Michi* No, I've become so insanely jealous that I've soiled myself. Either that or 
I've slipped into antisocial-personality mode.
<Michiru> ... because, Haruka. We need to stop by the store on the way home. We need some bread!
<Taiki> Quick, man! Get this girl some bread!
<All> *chanting* Bread! Bread! We need to get some bread!

        " No, this party is just getting better." Haruka said.

<Haruka> Aw, what are you talking about? Is Michiru nekkid?  Are people stripping and running around 
nude? Then no, the party isn't getting better!

 " Besides, I have 

friends to make. Would you excuse me?" She left to go find Yo, leaving Michiru 

dumbstruck.



        " Haruka-chan!" Yo said when he saw Haruka approach him. " I thought you 

didn't like men."

<Haruka> Exactly. And that's why I'm talking to you.
<Michiru> *snickers* He's no man, baby.
<Taiki> *sighs* Yup, turns out it's just Tuxedo Kamen in drag..
<Michiru> Err... but Tuxedo Kamen IS a man. *odd look*
<Taiki> Heh, could've fooled me. *matter-of-fact smirk*
<Haruka> Heh.. heh heh... HA HA HA!! >.< Way to go, Taiki! Not half-bad, son!
<Both double over laughing>
<Michiru> *to Setsy* We are trapped in a room with two perverted lunatics.

<Tuxedo Kamen> And stay tuned for part two, coming up soon! Will Haruka and Taiki make more fun of me? 
Lewd cracks about my manner of dress? You betcha! ^_^ Sayonara, minna! *sparkles and flies off 
magically into the sunset*



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