<The main crowd of sailor senshi are all lounging about the theater on the big couch.  Oddly,
they are all sporting shirts with a picture of Lieutenant Yamamoto from Irresponsible Captain Tylor
 screaming his head off.  Pendrell's supersized face comes into view on the screens before them, 
much to their chagrin.>

<Pendrell> OHayo, Children of the Corn!  Are you ready for thi-- uh... what's with the shirts?
<Minako>  Oh, what, these? *lifts the corner of her shirt perkily*  Yamamoto is our new role model!!
<Usagi> YEAH!  And check it out! *turns to reveal the phrase "Yamamoto says relax, don't do it"
sprawled in big black letters across her back*
<Pendrell> Ah. -.-;  I may regret this, but... _why_ do you have on those shirts?
<Makoto>  Inspiration, sir.
<Mamoru>  They remind us that, in dire situations, there is no need to lose your mind or kill 
Captain Tylor, but instead,  simply bang your head against the wall.
<Ami>  Or the desk, or whatever's handy, really..
<Pendrell> ... Ah.  Wait a minute.  Am I supposed to be the Captain Tylor in your equation?
<Steve>  Do I get to be Azalyn? : )
<Rei>  Hey sir.  Umm...  might I ask a question?
<Pendrell>  Shoot, fruit. --;
<Rei, modestly>  Why exactly is it that we must view a movie-fic today?
<Pendrell>  Hmm... well...
<Minako, just as modestly>  Why must we be forcibly exposed to such horrid sludge, Captain?  
Why?
<Pendrell> -_-;; Do not refer to me as your 'captain.'  And.. well... y'know...
<All wait expectantly.>
<Pendrell> .... you know.... sometimes... I think I make you read these things because I'm _evil_.
<Mamoru, aghast> Nooo.
<Pendrell>  Yes.. yes, I really think I do it because I have no scruples whatsoever...
<Ami>  But surely you aren't _inherently_ evil!  You could change all this!  Make the pain go away!
<Pendrell>  You know what makes the pain go away?  Listening to the little voice in my head that
tells me to send you chapter one of the Heavlenity Horror!  Now suffer, peons! BAHAHAHA!!!!
<The vid-fic stats to filter into focus on the screen in the center.  All let out a tremendous sigh of
desolation.>
<All> AWWWW!
<Pendrell>  Ahh.  I feel MUCH better!  Oh, and senshi-types...
<All> Hmm? --;
<Pendrell>  You might want to position yourself in a place near to the wall.  I have a feeling there'll be
an awful lot of head-banging going on soon.
<All> AWWWW! >_<


Hello!  This is the second time I've e-mailed you,

<Minako>  Is it really?  Could've fooled me.  0.0
<Pendrell>  I'm just letting you get acquainted with one of my suppliers.  It's sort of like a really short
Biography episode to let you get to know your enemy--
<Rei>  -- except you're not Peter Graves and you're crazy.
<Pendrell>  Exactly!

 and this time I have some 
REALLY bad Fanfiction. 

<All> AWWW...
<Pendrell>  Now stop whining.

 There are two (they will follow), but they are short. 

<Minako, nervously>  Two? Two??  Who mentioned two of them?!  You said ONE! You said--
<Pendrell>  Right, right, just one, the other one...
<Ami>  Burns in hell?
<Pendrell> .. comes later.
<All> AWWWWW!

 Oh, well.  On another topic, I wanted 
you to know how much I love your site, so I made 2 (yes, count 'em, TWO!) awards for you.  

<All>  0_0
<Usagi>  WHAT?!  Rewards for lunacy?  This is a new low for the human race.
<Mamoru>  Man, I hear _that_.
<Pendrell>  Oh, you guys are just mad 'cause you don't ever get any awards.
<All> ...

One if quite large, so if you don't like it, I'll make another. 

<Makoto>  Oh, you pandering loony!  Wait'll I get my paws on you, buddy--
<Pendrell, smugly>  You kill one and there'll be three more hurling their bad fanfic finds at
you.  They're unstoppable.  They're a force that can never be reckoned with.
<Rei>  And 'they' are..?
<Pendrell>  A  strength so uncontrollable that even the Bob Saget doll can't stand up to their mighty 
power!  A strength so.. so strong that it's really.. STRONG!!
<All>  Just get to the point!
<Pendrell>  We like to call them 'fans,' actually.
<Minako> ... these 'fans.'  How many are we talking here?
<Pendrell>  Hundreds, possibly thousands.
<All, horrified> Nooooo! o_o
<Pendrell> YES!! _YES_!!!!!  And all waiting to make YOU suffer! HA! HA HA HA!  Oh, it must hurt
to be you right now..
<All> Yeeeaaaahhh.... ><


 Anyway, they are attached. 

<Ami>  Mind if we detach?  Can we detach from this while we still have time?  I'd rather stick a fork
into a toaster than continue down this path.
 

Here's the FanFiction:

<Mamoru, checking for Usagi's pulse>  And judging by that flatline, you can tell that the reviewers 
are just wetting their Depends in anticipation.
<Rei, steaming>  Depends?!  Ewww!  We are not decrepit and senile, Mamoru!  Hold your tongue,
impudent man! *clocks Mamoru one with her fist*
<Mamoru>  OoOogh... 
<Minako, sagely>  Yamamoto says relax, don't do it, Rei.
<Rei hauls off and decks Minako right off her seat on the couch.>
<Minako>  OoOogh.
<Mamoru>  Ditto... x_x

Story 1:

<Minako> How many stories ARE there?
<Makoto, shivering> I don't wanna know.

1,000,000 years ago there was a peaceful place in the universe known as

<Seiya>  The realm of the mighty Sailor Gorzog-5--
<Rei>  Don't you start!
<Mamoru>  Where'd you come from?
<Seiya>  I came from a mother.
<Yaten>  And I came from the result of a lab experiment gone horribly wrong.
<Taiki>  I came from the snack bar.  I got lost in the dark and wound up in here. 
Purely coincidence, of course.
<Rei>  Well then, uh... nine or more's a party, so.. stick around! 
<Seiya>  I'd really rather not... ><

 the white 
heavens. It was a peaceful pleace that knew nothing of hate or evil. 

<Seiya> So, um... I suppose the Peacecraft legacy still lives on...
<Yaten, exasperated> Has she not been assassinated yet? WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU WAITING FOR?? 
YOU'VE got a gun-- go kill Relena! 
<Makoto>  I'll do it! Can I go do it? Can I?? *begs*
<Pendrell> Tempting as that offer is, I'm afraid I can't let you out of the theater.  
You know I air-seal you in there every time.  You'd have no oxygen outside the movie room.
<Mamoru> But, umm, hey.. everybody else is still outside.
<Pendrell> Oh they are?  Well then, they're probably dead. 
<All> 0_o WHAAAAT??!
<Pendrell, airily> I _bet_ they're dead! Oh dear! I DO forget the silliest things!
<Steve comes in to view; he pokes Pendrell lightly on the shoulder.>
<Pendrell> Hah? What is it you want, elf-slave?
<Steve> Well, erm, technically, we _were_ supposed to have an air-seal system installed, 
but, uh, the budget was a little bit tight last month, so...
<Pendrell, somewhat irritated> So?
<Steve> Well, well, uhm, that is, well...
<Pendrell> -_-
<Steve>  .. we used the money for the air-seal system to buy balloon animals in bulk.
<Pendrell> WHAAAAT?! o_<
<Steve>  But they're so cute and, and shiny, and--
<Steve is bowled over by a massive emission of steam from Pendrell.>
<Pendrell> GRRAAARRR!!!!!!! ><
<Steve> OH MAH GAWD! HALP!! 
<Steve runs away screaming his pants off.>
<Everyone onboard the SoL> .... uh. Well.
<Pendrell adjusts her glasses, then turns back to the vidcam.>
<Pendrell> Right. Well. I guess you know.  My proud reputation as a mad scientist has been 
ruined by Steve's insane quest for the perfect balloon hippopotamus.  Next thing you know 
I'll be downgraded from mad to merely 'irate'.
<Minako> Heavlenity forbid that should ever happen.
<Pendrell> Who forbid? -_0
<Minako> I got bored and read ahead. Can we get back to our review now?
<Pendrell> Yes, of course, go at it like shiny red balloons flying toward the lemon sun, 
only to pop and fritter your way back to the earth as a withered piece of stretchable 
plastik.
<All> 0_0
<Pendrell heaves a sigh and disappears from view.>
<Mamoru> Hm.  I dunno.  She seems somewhat depressed that the air-seal system 
business didn't work out; I, on the other hand, am rather glad that Steve is so 
eccentric about balloon animals.  Elsewise all our buddies would be dead by now.
<All> Yeah.
<Makoto> And then we'd have to carry their fanfic load too.  That'd have to suck 
majorly.
<All> Majorly.
<Makoto> So, uh, that's like cool?
<All> Cool.
<Makoto> Then let's blast off at the speed of light!
<Mamoru>  Surrender now or prepare to--
<All> READ!
<Mamoru> *blink* Well, that's not really what I had in mind.. ^^;
<Makoto> Well, tough cookies.
<Mamoru's shoulders droop.>

The white heaves was ruled 
by Queen Heavlenity

<Rei> 0.0 Ooh mah gawd!
<Minako> We've finally found.. IT!
<All> *gasp* NO!
<Pendrell> IT what?
<Minako> IT! IT!! *faints dramatically*
<Mamoru> She was a fine specimen of humanity. Minako, we shall miss thee dearly.
<Ami> Uh.. she's not dead..
<Mamoru> Well then!  Let's keep reading!
<Pendrell> But what is.. IT? I want to know!
<Mamoru> Then we won't tell you.
<Pendrell>... -_- Nrgh.

 and she had a daughter, Princess Christy.

<Usagi> •Christy• Duh..! Tee hee! I'm a good princess of the universe! Wheee! I 
like bubbles and  my name rhymes with misty!  My eyes are sparkly and I like cheese!
<Mamoru> Uggh...

 Queen Heavenly made sure that 
her daughter followed in her footsteps.

<Ami>  They have to mark the palace floors with those little plastic feet so she 
knows where to go every day.
<Pendrell> Hey. You two.
<Seiya and Yaten> Yes?
<Pendrell> You haven't said a word in over two minutes.  As such, I'm booting 
you out of the theater.  Now go get drunk as skunks and host a wet t-shirt contest 
or something.
<The door opens; Seiya, Yaten and Mamoru begin filing out, kicking their heels 
into the air and singing merrily.  Mamoru, however, is stopped by a somewhat 
large static shock.>
<Mamoru, sizzling> Why can't I go, mommy?
<Pendrell> Did I _say_ "Mamoru, run along and host a wet t-shirt contest"? 
NO! SIDDOWN, Moonlight Twerp! -_-
<Mamoru, grumbling> I never get to host the wet t-shirt contest. 
*retakes his seat*

 She raised Princess Christy to be proper, gentle and 
someday be the future queen of the heavens and universe.

<Usagi> •Princess Serenity• Moooom!  Somebody's trying to usurp my reign 
over the universe again!

 Princess Christy had brown hair, in 
an odango style and her hair then curled around in a spiral and the end 
of her hair,

<Mamoru> Alright.  That's just too much hair. Just stop it.

 Hazel 
eyes and fair skin.

<Mamoru> So, um, Princess Christy equals Princess Serenity plus an IQ.
<Usagi> Hey! *punches Mamoru's arm*

 She was also in love with prince of the earth. His name was prince

<Rei> Abu!
<Minako, singing> Prince Ali, fabulous he, Ali Ababwaaaaah! : )

 Alex. 

<Minako> Sheesh.  
<Makoto>  Who died and made YOU Prince of the Earth?
<Mamoru> I'd rather be the Prince of Space.
<Usagi> Let's not get into that now, ok?

 They were to be married and rule the universe together.

<Rei>  And of course this goes over well with all the other inhabitants of 
the universe.
<Mamoru> What happened to me? Did they just boot me off and take my planet 
too, those filthy bastards?

 On the day of thier wedding, dark, 
evil forces broke into the kingdom and started to destroy everything.

<Makoto>  Meaning that Alex's irate ex-girlfriends stampeded the party and 
burned down the palace, I hope.
<Minako> More than likely it was just the tipsy party guests knocking stuff over 
in the throne room.
<Rei> •drunk• Heyyy, looook, shiny things... *CRASH* Oops!  Beg yer pardon!
<Usagi> •queen• My Ginzuishou!! ><
<Mamoru> Hey! No Ginzuishou! This is Queen Heavel... um.. Queen What's-Er-Name's 
palace, not Serenity's.
<All, irate> Same difference. 

 Princess Christy had 
four other girls on the court to help defend her.

<Mamoru> •girls• Umm, like, we motion that the defense be given a five-minute 
recess so we can go defeat the Youma of the Day.
<Usagi> Motion for the defense to be striken dead by divine judgement! ><
<All> Amen to that!

 They were Sailor comet , ice , sun and star. 
Each princess' of thier own planets.

<Ami> Hmm.  That's weird.  Usually we are named after our own planets, are we not?
<Makoto> So we are.
<Ami> And these girls are named after their own planets too, are they not?
<Makoto> That they are.
<Ami> Then kindly explain to me why it is that they consider a comet, a star, a ball 
of ice and a sun to be planets? HUH?? WHY, DAMMIT?!! *foams at the mouth*

 Although, they were not stro!

<All> ... 0_0
<Mamoru, laughing madly> And so begins our downward slide into Fanfiction Hell!

ng enough to defend what was left of the kingdom. They were destroyed by the forces

<Usagi>  The Dark Side of the Force made them combust from the inside out, hopefully.
<Makoto> Imitation senshi!  You are not stro!  As a matter of fact, you are incredibly 
weak!  I will crush you with my _lazer-beam vision_!
<Minako>  You don't have _lazer-beam vision_!! -_-;
<Makoto> Ohh... yeah...

 and were coverd with the ruins of the 
Kingdom.

<Mamoru> •Sailor Comet• Wait! I'm still alive! Loo-- *mimes a large chunk of debris 
falling on his head* Owie. *dies*
<Makoto> Apparently, they were not stro! enough to survive.
<Usagi> Sheeeesh. ><

 Queen Heavlenity

<Makoto> Heavlenity.  How on Earth did she get stuck with a name like Heavlenity?
<Minako>  She didn't get stuck with a name like that on Earth.  She got stuck 
with it on The White Heavens, wherever THAT is.
<Mamoru> It's probably an interstellar dive right off the edge of the Tau 
Ceti system.
<Minako> It _sounds_ more like an asteroid base from Outlaw Star.
<All> UGH!
<Ami>  Never mention that horrid show again!

tried to defend her kingdom using the golden start crystal.

<Usagi>  Oh no... no no no... I won't allow this!  I DIDN'T ASK TO READ THIS FANFIC!! 
I want OUT! NOW!!! ;>_<; *bawls*
<Pendrell> Mwahahahahah!  Finally, I shall defeat you!  
<Rei> We're not loony _yet_, you raving madwoman!  We'll show you what we're 
made of..! *shakes her fists*
<Pendrell> We'll see about dat, suckahs!
<Mamoru> Pardon me?  Did you just refer to us as 'suckahs'?
<Pendrell> Why, yes.  What you gonna do 'bout it, Cape Boy? Mwahahahahah!
*blip*
<Minako> She's gone.
<All> Hurray.
<Mamoru> So why do I still feel so sick to my stomach?
<Makoto> Could be the fact that we have to read the rest of the fanfic.
<Mamoru> Could be... *_*

 Meanwhile, 
prince Alex was defending Princess Cristy and sadly enough they lost thier life's 
trying to save eachother. 

<Minako> They probably got so confused trying to figure out what their author was 
doing that they both died.
<Rei> •Cristy and Alex• Umm... where's our plot? Do we even _have_ a plot?  
<Makoto> •ditto• Too.. many... unwieldy plot devices.. can't.. go.. on... *flop*
<Mamoru> Somewhere, an English scholar is crying.
<Ami> That's just Taiki. He's still not over the Captain Universe incident.

Then, all of a suddenly Queen Heavlenity used all her strength, power of her 
kingdom, the power of the scouts on Christy's court,

<Rei> The power of toaster strudels, the power of crossdressing fetishists--
<Ami> The power of playing God with grammar...

 and the golden start crystal to defeat 
the evil.

<Mamoru> So why would it stop the evil instead of start it?
<All> *glare at Mamoru> --;

 It worked.

<Mamoru> On second thought, no it didn't.  The end.

 She explained to her gaurdian cat, Bella, to go to the future and find 
the Princess of the white heavens and revive her as Sailor Angel.

<Mamoru>  Oh, cool.  Will there be a Sailor Satan in this fanfic?
<Usagi>  Not cool! SO not cool! Like, guuh! ><
<Setsuna pops her head in through the door.>  
<Setsy> Would you like some pain relief, friends?
<All> PLEASE!
<Setsy>  Here. *hands everyone a bottle of greenish liquid*  When all hope is gone, 
quaff this down.  Farewell, friends. *exits*
<Mamoru> Um.... did anyone else find that vaguely... odd?
<Minako> .... what is this stuff? *peers into her bottle*
<Usagi> Errr.... let's just move on, shall we?

  She then sent Bella, Princess 
Christy and Prince Alex, The sailor soldiers, and the evil forces to 1,000,000 years in the 
future, to the year 2000. 

<Minako>  Their 1,000,000 year old dead corpses arrived courtesy of United Dead 
Senshi Shipping Services.
<Rei> Why'd she send the evil forces with them into the future?  Why in the hell 
couldn't she just eradicate the evil forces and _then_ send the doofy sailors into 
the future?
<Usagi>  Why can't the author just stop pretending that there's a plot here?  This is 
the TV show, only with different names.
<Mamoru> •Queen Heavlenity•  So, your kingdom got blown to bits by dark forces too?
<Ami> •Serenity• And you sent your sailors into the future to relive the whole thing, 
too? Wow. We're so alike it's scary!

Christy lived in New york city and went to a new school.

<Ami> 'New york city'? ....
<All> *wait patiently*
<Ami> .. no, really. I'm fine.  I won't lash out and hurt the person sitting nearest 
to me, who happens to be Makoto.
<Makoto> 0.0
<Ami> .... HIYAAA!!! *flails her arm into Makoto's ribs*
<Makoto> Oof! 0_o *falls over, clutching her side* 
<Mamoru> You said you wouldn't do that.
<Ami> *adjusts glasses* I'm sorry. I lied.  
<Makoto> *gurgles*

 Her school was Miss Spence's Classes. 

<Rei> Is that like one of those schools that advertises in the back section of the 
local newspaper?
<Mamoru> "Mis Spences Classes: We Teach You Good or Your Money Beck"!

After another day. she went home on the sunway sulking at her test. She got a 52 
again. When she was passign the subway, she saw a brand ne wpet shop.

<Rei> •Christy•  Oh, I've been looking all over for a place to buy a new wpet!

 Christy saw a cute black tuxedo cat 
the a golden cresent moon with wings on each side.

<Makoto> The bastard clone of Artemis and Tuxedo Mask.

 When she arrived home, she was relived that 
her parents wern't home. She would be able to hide her grade. She looked straight 
ahead

<Makoto> •Christy• I'm optimistic!  Nobody can break my stride, tee hee!  I'm gonna 
keep my feet on the ground and my head in the clouds! : )
<All> >_<

 as 
she saw a figure of a cat.

<Mamoru> Mrowr! I am Tuxedo Mittens-sama!  In the name of laughable plot devices, 
I will vanquish you!
<Minako> •figure• I am the terror that sits on your larynx and makes it difficult 
for you to breathe in the night!
<Rei> Is that what Artemis does to you? 0_o
<Minako> Yes, and he hacks up hairballs off the side of the bed sometimes.
<All> Gross!

 Christy went up to it, and it was the cat from the shop!!

<Mamoru, feigning extreme surprise> ... NO.
<Usagi> Who would ever have guessed?

  Christy 
fixed the cat some milk and tuna.

<Ami> •Christy• Uhmm... since you broke into my house and all, I guess I'll feed you.
<Mamoru> Well, whenever _I_ find a cat in a Tuxedo sitting in my room, I feed him and 
call him Mr. Gompers.
<All> Mister Gompers??
<Usagi> .. A HA HA!!! GOOFY NAME!! 
<Rei> Some call it goofy.  The rest of us call it frightening.
<Usagi> >.< *tears of laughter stream down her face*

 The cat ate it all quickly.

<Makoto> •Tuxedo Mittens• If you don't mind, I'm in a bit of a rush, I've gotta go save 
Sailor Fluffy after I finish this tuna...

 Suddenly the cat talked.

<Mamoru>  The audience was quite surprised by this as they'd never heard a cat 
verbalize itself before.
<Ami> •cat• Would you mind leaving me out of the story from here on?

 "Christy, 
I am your gaurdian cat Bella

<All> OH yeah.
<Usagi> Tee hee, I forgot all about that part.  I thought we'd traipsed into a different 
'fic.

 and I have come to train you as the  Pretty Soldier Sailor Angel." 

<Rei> •Bella• So, first things first, we need to hire you a personal trainer and slough 
off that extra fifteen pounds, hon.

Bella said. Christy just blinked and screamed and ran into her room and slammed the door 
shut. 

<Makoto> •Bella• Look, you dipwad, the audience has already been through this once before 
with Luna and Usagi.  So get your rear out here and let's just get to the part where the 
youma attacks already!

Bella pawed at the slammed door and managed to get it open.

<Ami> Odd, considering she had no hands and obviously couldn't reach the knob.
<Mamoru> •Bella• I'll just use the handy-dandy 'Bella Plot Contrivance Beam' to open the 
door so the scene can continue!

 Christy was starring at Bella and 
Bella continued.

<Ami> •Christy• Like, hello? I slammed the door on your whiskers so you'd STOP talking, 
and now you're back at it again! Don't make me chuck you out the window, you walking 
hairball!

 " Angel Transformation Pen App!

<Mamoru> •Bella• App!... app!... nuts, I can't quite spit it out.

ear!"

<All> Look out! Ear! *duck*
<Several seconds pass by.>
<Rei> ... Heyyy! They lied. No ear.

 A beautiful pen about 6 inches appears before CHristy hovering over her hands.

<Usagi> •innocently•  Why, whatever could I do with THIS, Bella?  
<Ami> •Bella•  Why do I always get stuck with the stupid ones?

 It was a gold stick with a moon ball at the top with the same pink cresant moon mark 
Bella had on her forehead with wings on both sides sticking out of the ball. It was 
so shiny against the sun.

<Mamoru> •Christy• Oooh.  Pretty sparkly thing!

 "This is your ransformation 
pen" explained Bella " Use it to transform

<Mamoru> Er, pardon me, that's 'ransform'.. *snickers*
<Makoto> •Scooby Doo-voice• I ransform into the pretty roldier of ruv, Railor Rangel.
<Minako> Puppy powweeeerr!! : )
<Usagi> Gack!! 0_0
<Rei> •Christy• So I'm supposed to say 'plot line rancification power' or something?

 into Sailor Angel. To transform, you must shout 

<Mamoru> I want a Barney Clark bar!
<Ami> Come now!
<Mamoru> But I do.

'Angel Heaven Power, Make-Up!'. Go on, try it.

<Ami> *goofy*  Go on, kids, you can do it, it's easy if you use your imagination!
<Mamoru> •Christy• Pretty sparkly-- huh? Oh, tee hee, did you say something?

 "Um. Right. Angel Heaven Power ....Make UP!" 

<Ami, looking back at the last paragraph> .. I don't get it.  Where did Bella's line 
stop and Christy's line start?
<Usagi> More importantly, why is Christy transforming when there's no youma around 
to fight?

Christy was in a blue background and she was floating.

<Rei> Did she just go one-dimensional?  I think she did.
<Minako> Dadblanged imitation senshi transformation descriptions.  Wake me when 
it's over or when something exciting happens. *promptly begins snoring*

 Her head was down and her arms were 
crossed stretching down to her knees.  The a bright golden light shone and little 
sparkles were everywhere.

<Usagi> Whee, it's like she's being doused with the holy light of the sparkly 
aaaangeellls... but still I must percolate, why is that?
<Ami> Usagi-chan... do you know what you just said? ^_-;
<Usagi> *vacantly* Pretty sparkly thing?
<Ami> That's better.

 Then her arms went to her side and her left leg was bent

<Makoto> Ouch! That looks painful. *_*

 and you saw her profile 
from the left.

<Mamoru> Did you see it?
<Rei> *cheesy* Sure did! And I enjoyed every minute of it!
<Makoto> Ew.
<Minako> Zzzz... 

 Her fuku appeard and she had golden colored boots aboce her knee with a white 
stripe at the rim where the boot stopped on her leg. Her skirt was blue with 
white and pink stripes. 

<Makoto> *grimaces* Another fashion disaster from the Dimension of Cornball 
Imitation Senshi.

Then a gold bow. Her gloves when from her elbows down. The!n 

<Mamoru> Ever notice how the author tends to get excited at the strangest points of 
her sentences?
<Rei> N!o, Mam!oru, it's just your imagin!ation.

you see the top of her hair and

<Usagi> --realize it's a wig.

 spirals shimmer in her odango, then you see her tiara with a cresent moon with wings 
on each side.

<Ami> Thin you say "wow what a cool outfit i wish i could were pink and whit stripes 
insted of this stupid blu fuku."
<Mamoru>  Don't diss your blue fuku, my friend.
<Ami> Whet are yuo talking aboot I liek my feku.
<Minako, awake all of a sudden>  Oh dear.  She's gone into grammar-shock again!
<Ami>  oh pleez, im fine, jest ned a little tyolenol... *shakes head* Oh my.  Where am I? What..
<Minako>  It's fine, Ami, everything is fine... ^^; relax and let's continue on, 
shall we?

 She smiles the poses standing up with her arms behind her.

<All> -_0 ....
<Mamoru>  Well, I must admit, it's new to me.
<Minako, her face scrunched>  How does she do that?

 A new scout was born 
Sailor Angel, with the power of the white heavens

<Ami>  And the power to butcher simple sentences, the power of comma neglect...
<Usagi>  The power to create cheese with nothing but her mind...
<Rei>  Seeing as how her mind IS nothing.. -_-
<Makoto>  The power of pretty sparkly things!
<Mamoru>  The power of ripping off the original plotline of Sailormoon!
<Ami>  The power of ugly fukus!
<Minako>  The power of idiocy and inane conversations with bastard hybrid cat clones!
<All> AMEN!

 and defender of

<Ami> Teeny-bopper fanfic authors everywhere..
<Mamoru, for no other reason than that thought, throws up on Ami's shoes.>
<Ami> Aaaaarrggh!! ><
<Rei> •author•  Look, I know it sounds like every other SI Sailormoon fanfic you've ever read!  But I swear, this one's different!
<Makoto>  Does the main character die?
<Rei>  Yes, but she gets reincarnated, like, five minutes after.
<Makoto>  Damn.  Does she at any point gain the IQ of a chipmunk, or is she eternally at the mental level of a rock?
<Rei>  Yes, but she still chitters on aimlessly about Prince Alex and her failing chemistry grades.
<Makoto, eyebrow quirked> .. yes, she is smarter than a rock, or no, she's still at the level of a rock?
<Rei> Ehm.... both?
<All>  Silence now, the both of you!
<Makoto>  But I was having "Interview with the Author" Time!
<Usagi>  That was "Interview with Rei Pretending to be the Author" Time, Mako-chan.
<Makoto, grumpily>  Why am I never allowed to have fun?

 the white kingdom 
and love and justice!!

<Mamoru>  As for the other-colored kingdoms, they can suck it!
<All> Hurray!
<Minako> Kiss my butt, Blue Kingdom! Nyaaah!
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