"Oh, wow." Ami and the others looked around, mouths agape, taking in all the new.. stuff.
A red couch sat in the middle of the room, complete with large bopping pillows and footrests.
Dual vid screens had replaced the old single-view one. A popcorn machine now stood next to
the entrance.
The unfortunate recievers of all this junk parted to make way for Steve as he wheeled a 
cart full of beverages and snacks into the theater.
"Dudes!" he exclaimed, dropping off his complimentary cart of goodies and exiting, "Pendrell
must've flipped her gourd."
"I kind of thought she never had a gourd to begin with," mumbled Minako, turning just in time
 to see the shining face of Pendrell appear alongside a new fic. 
"Whoooaa." Mamoru's eyes widened as he realized what exactly the significance of two screens
meant.
Her tongue hanging out rather oddly, Pendrell pointed to the reviewers. "AHA! Mamoru-kun, you
realize the great purpose of the two screens, don't you! It means.. read a fic AND watch 
it at the same time!!" Pause for throwing back of the head and insane laughter.
Minako crossed her arms and shook her head violently. "You can't WATCH a fanfic! That's 
impossible!"
"That's what you think, you dope." Pendrell sneered viciously at the blonde senshi. "Would you
believe there's a company out there that sells special stuff with which one can put fanfics 
into visual being? An evil company, as you might've guessed..."
They all nodded reluctantly. Minako facefaulted as tradition dictated she should at such a 
point.
"DAMMIT! That's just cruel!" she wailed, sinking to her knees.
Pendrell narrowed her eyes. "Life is cruel. I had to pay nearly two hundred bucks for this 
darn machine, so it'd better work." Hooking a few cables up here and there, Pendrell 
nonchalantly waved the senshi farewell. "I hope you all go crazy from both watching AND reading.
Bye bye for now."
With that the screen went blank, leaving the senshi looking verily pissed.
   


Sailor Moon Loved
   

Chapter 1~ Dream or Reality? 

<Minako> Will it be incoherent and grammatically indecipherable or will it 
be mildly understandable for once?
<Ami> The fic?
<Minako> What else is there?


Look without, look within 

<All> *look out the window, look down each other's throats*

All is simple as it seems 

Bare your heart to the one you love 

<Rei> --and if you were in Cave Dwellers, a guy would eat it.
<Ami> Huh?
<Rei> Oh nothing.

Share the visions of your dreams 

<All> *friendly* Pass the LSD _this_ way!
                                       
 ~Tara K. Harper 

<All> .. who?
                                                                                
                                                                                                 

"Darien!!"

<All> Oh.
<Usagi> *squeal* TAMAHOME!

 Serena's pitiful cry echoed through the long, dark, corridor.

<Usagi> It was a typical day. Usagi had failed another typical test, as was 
typical of her typical day...
<All> *groan*

 Her wedding gown rustled in the eerie breeze.

<Usagi> *holds down skirt* Quit being so eerie, damn wind.
<Mamoru> It's kind of eerie watching the action as you read...
<Minako> It's kind of eerie that we're even putting up with this. This is dumb.
<Ami> I'll give it that. But think about it: what exactly can we do to get
out? Nothing, really. Besides, I'd rather be in here than out there with Steve
and those scary guys.
<All> *shiver* Yeah..

 "No, don't leave me!"

<All> Come back to me, wedding gown... come back.. *fade out*

 Her tear streaked face stared despairingly at a single rose as it crumbled

<Ami> --against all laws of known physics!..

 and disappeared into the darkness. A sweet, yet sad voice filled the princess' 
ears. 

<Mamoru> •Quatre• I wish I were a girl...
<Usagi> •Serena• *wrinkes nose* That's, like, weird. Really. Guuh.

"Destruction will come with your pursuit of love.

<Rei> *evil voice* You will trip over many things in your stupor of love and 
bring the eventual destruction of many priceless artifacts in Michiru and 
Haruka's mansion!

 If Darien does not love you, stop trying to make him!" 


Gasping for breath, Serena sat up in her bed.

<Minako> •Serena• Huff... same dream again.. drowning in giant bowl of ice cream.. 
horrible.. horrible...

  Beads of sweat trickled down her neck. "It can't be true, I know he loves 
me. He does!"

<All> *sing* Don't say you're happy.. out there without me... I know you 
can't be... 

 Remembering the words he spoke after rescuing her from eternal sleep, Serena 
jumped out of her bed. 

<Mamoru> *boredly* Did he say something about jumping out of bed if she ever needed 
him to come to her aid..?

"Our love is like a rose" he had said,

<Minako> --red, fragrant, represented by a little dude with wings on his heels..
<Ami> Guaranteed delivered fresh.

 "beautiful when in bloom, but it can't last forever." 

<Mamoru> Well, yeah... since we're dealing with the DUB here..
<All> *glare at screen*

Luna stretched and yawned, peering up at Serena, and then at the clock. 

<Rei> •Luna• Was that you or the clock I heard clanging?

"What are you doing up so early? Where are you going?" 

<All> We demand to know!
<Ami> Why so many questions?

"I have to talk to Darien. It's important. I'll be back later." 

<Makoto> Nothing like a little 'adult conversation' to liven up your morning.

"All right." Luna replied sleepily.

<Rei> •Luna• If you need me I'll be shedding on your bed dressings.

 She curled back up and went to sleep. 

Sprinting down the sidewalk, Serena entered an apartment building.

<Usagi> Whose it was we cannot say.
<Mamoru> •Shinji• Um.. Misato, there's some girl at the door calling me 'Muffin'..
<Rei> •Misato• She's probably a girl scout or something, tell her to go away.
<Usagi> •Serena• SAILOR scout! SAILOR! Got that? Thank you! 
<Mamoru> •Shinji• Wow, umm, her skirt's really short... 
<Rei> •Misato• Wanker. *covers his eyes*

 The sun was just rising above the horizon as she stepped into the elevator. What 
could the dream mean?

<All> Eat less anchovy pepperoni pizza before bed.

 Was it just a dreadful nightmare, or was someone sending her a message?

<Minako> •Announcer• Paging Meatball Head.. would Meatball Head come to the front 
desk for a message please...

 If so, who was it and what bad could come of Serena having Darien as a boyfriend?

<All> Ahem.. two words: Chibi Usa.

 It just didn't make sense! 

<Mamoru> Nothing EVER makes sense!
<Ami> At least, not in these fanfics..

Walking down the hall, she looked at the numbers on the doors as she passed. 

<Ami> •Serena• 1.. 2.. 3.. oops. What comes after that? Oh. 4. 5. 6... whoopee.

It was so hard to see anything this early in the morning.

<Rei> Sounds like Usagi could use a good cup of Foldger's right about now..
<Usagi> •Serena• Dum de dum dum-- OW! Ran right into the wall! Can't see a darn 
thing today!

 The corridor was so dark! Why weren't the hall lights on? Serena stopped.

<Makoto> She took off her sunglasses.

 "This 
seems familiar." She felt something brush against her cheek and gasped. 

<All> *sickly* Lemon?
<Ami> No! No...

Rose petals floated by.

<Mamoru> If she suddenly finds herself nude, I'm outta here.

 Where did they come from? Serena whirled around to see a figure holding 
withered roses in his hands. 

<All> *girly* Hi, I'm Jaaames from Team Rocket! 

"Tuxedo Mask!" she whispered. 

<Rei> No, James from Team Rocket, dammit!

"If Darien does not love you, stop trying to make him!"

<Mamoru> •TM• -- Uh, I mean me. Yeah. 

The caped hero faded from sight, and the lights in the hall illuminated the 
walls as they should.

<All> All as it should be and to each his own place.
<Usagi> And Serena experiences her first LSD flashback...

 Shocked and scared, Serena sunk to the floor

<Ami> --and sobbed sullenly, screaming in a stifled style.
<Minako> Nice alliteration there, Ami.

 and cried. It definitely wasn't just a dream. What was going on?

<Usagi> Where was her meager plot going to?

 After a few minutes, she heard a creak. The door next to her opened. 

<Mamoru> •Shinji• Okay, you can go away any time now.
<Usagi> •Serena• Where's my Muffin? I can't see! I need my Muffin!!
<Mamoru> •Shinji• Umm.. i-if you don't leave soon, I'm calling the police...
<Usagi> MUFFIN!!!
<Mamoru> AAAH!!! *slams door* 

"What's all that noise?"

<Rei> •Misato• Stop slamming that door, Shinji, you twerp!

 Without realizing it, Serena had stopped next to Darien's apartment door. 

<Mamoru> •Shinji• *opens door* Gee.. I kind of miss her obnoxiously ditzy voice... 
oh well.

"Oh, Serena, it's you. What are you doing here?" Darien sounded irritated.

<Minako> After all, he hadn't even opened the door yet.
<Makoto> And Serena was on the other side, running into it, falling down, getting 
back up again, running into it and saying "Muffin!" over and over...

 He turned to go, then stopped.

<Mamoru> •Darien• Wait a minute.. I'm already home. Nuts.

 "Why are you crying?" 

"Oh Darien, it's terrible!" she wailed.

<Usagi> •Serena• I ate ten donughts, a whole lemon pie, three chocolate croissants 
and I'm gonna get faaaaaat! 
<Mamoru> •Darien• There there.. even if you end up weighing more than 96 pounds, I'll 
still love you. Muffin.
<Usagi> •Serena• .. MUFFINS! WAAAAAAAH!
<All> *plug ears*

 "I probably shouldn't tell you, but I just have to. Please, listen."

<Minako> *laughingly* Please here my tale!..
<All> *sullenly* Horrible memories of video game dialogue gone wrong...

 Serena opened her mouth to begin her tale, but suddenly

<Ami> She forgot how to utilize her larynx and emit comprehensible sound.

 there was a

<All> .. contrivance of plot..

 flash of light. 

<All> Same difference.

"What's going on now?!" asked Darien. 

<Mamoru> •Darien• It's either a plot device or the neighbors have installed a 
disco club next door. Hmm...

A tall red-head materialized before them and laughed insanely: 

<All> Kaorinite?
<Rei> Tasuki?
<Makoto> Aya?

Thank you for leading me to Tuxedo Mask, Sailor Moon.

<All> You are welcome, fanfic author.

 Yes, I know who you are.

<All> ...
<Usagi> This could be a bad thing.

 Not like it was that hard to figure it out. Your hair-style totally gave it away. 

<Mamoru> Oh, what, a _smart_ fanfic villain? Huh, yeah right. 

That, and a little help from the Wiseman.

<Minako> *sings* I get by with a little help from my friends.. and evil semi-opaque 
floating guys with crystal balls.

 Anyway, we already have the kid,

<All> Macullay Culkin?
<Rei> Sasami! YESSS! ><

 so hand over the crystal. There's no use resisting. 

<Mamoru> Borg Kaorinite?

"Rubeus!" Serena yelled, glaring at him with contempt.

<Usagi> •Serena• Would you kindly GET OUT of Muffin's apartment before your dark energy 
gets on the couch and stuff? Like, gaah. Totally.

 Then, a small figure appeared beside him.

<All> It's one of the Keebler elves!
<Rei> Gary Coleman?

 Gaged and bound, only her eyes revealed the horror she felt.

<Minako> •kid• Oh God, oh God, get me out of this fic! PLEASE!

 "Oh, Reeni!

<All> •Serena• Like, gayii, it's Mini-Moon 'n junk!

 Don't worry, I'll save you." But the pink haired girl had disappeared as quickly as she 
had come. 

<All> Ah.
<Mamou> *waves goodbye symbolically to common sense* See you outside the theater.

Rubeus again laughed wickedly, then turned.

<Mamoru> •Rubeus• Do you like my apparel? Do you wish you had this sexy body? Yes.

 "You will both come with me, NOW!"

<Rei> •Rubeus• You will help me pick out a casual-dress pair of slacks, NOW!

 He raised his hands and shot a group of 

<Ami> Stupid dub losers?
<Mamoru> Yay.

nega-spheres at them; but Serena and Darien dodged the balls easily. 

<Usagi> •Serena• Hey, quit throwing balls at us, jerk.
<Makoto> However, the balls DID crash through the wall into Misato's apartment.
<Mamoru> •Shinji• Oh god. Help. Help meee... must not run away.. must not-- 
oh, screw it. *takes flight*
<Rei> •Misato• Shinji! Quit throwing energy balls around the living room!

"Moon Crystal..." Serena started to say, but

<Usagi> Having lost the willpower to go on, she simply dropped it and wandered off to 
find a donught shoppe.

 another set of orbs crashed into her back. Screaming in pain, Serena smashed into 
the wall. 

<Rei> •Misato• What the.. aw hell, now there's a Serena-shaped hole in my wall. Crap.

"Serena, are you all right?" Darien shouted, readying a magic rose. 

<Mamoru> Oh. They're not just ANY roses-- they're _magical_ roses. *giggles*

Pulling herself up, Serena turned around, and saw a large ring hurtling towards her.

<All> _MARRY_ ME, SERENA TSUKINO!

 Caught unprepared,

<Ami> -- as she had not studied for her school entrance exams.

 the ring encircled her and pulled her in Rubeus' direction. 

"Serena!" yelled Darien, as he ran for her.

<Mamoru> •Darien• Stay right there, honey, I'll run for you! Don't move an 
inch! See, I'm running, I'm running! Watch me run!

 But Rubeus was already opening a portal and forcing her through. 

<Makoto> •Rubeus• Get.. IN.. STUPID.. DITZ... jeez! How many bricks have YOU 
eaten lately? Whew! *wipes sweat off brow*
<Usagi> •Serena• Waaaah! Even Rubeus thinks I'm faaat!

"Help" Serena shrieked. Darien reached out to grab her

<All> Molestor.

 while Rubeus threw a ring at the Prince.

<Rei> •Rubeus• You no touch. Mine, ya hear?
<Minako> •Rubeus• _Marry_ me, Darien Shields!

 To avoid getting caught, Darien had to move.

<Makoto> Presenting a fun new game: Sailormoon Freeze Tag.

 Serena disappeared into the portal

<All> •Serena• -- Aw, forget this, I'll just give myself up.
<Usagi> Better than having to endure much more of this going-nowhere plot point.

 and Rubeus stepped in behind her. The rift shimmered and closed immediately, 
leaving Darien alone in the hall. 

<Mamoru> •Shinji• *opens door* Umm.. you're gonna have to pay for all the interior 
damage to our apartment, you know. Boy is Misato pissed. I'd hate to be you right 
now, dude.
<Rei> Well, that's that. Let's split, minna.
<All get up and exit the theater, letting out whoops of joy at escaping their prison,
if only for a few hours.>


"It was so hard to see anything this early in the morning."