Chapter 3 - Sailor Moon and the WNW

... in which Mamoru gets a little nutty.

<Mamoru> Or in other words, Sailor Moon and the Cheap Taiwanese Knockoff of a Well-Known German Car.
<Rei>  Or Sailor Moon and the Wacky Nimble Wimps?
<Seiya>  Worldwide Nincompoop Wrestling?
<Makoto>  Willie Nelson World!
<Minako> No, no, it's gotta be Whacked Nerds Warrant!
<Usagi>  Stop it already, guys!  You're making me feel sick.... x_x

We kept on talking.

<Minako> Must you?

 She explained how she got her pictures anonymously through the mail, she accepted the pictures 
as her mother because they looked alike.

<Seiya>  Well, if none of the pictures of my supposed mother were alike, I'd be a little suspicious.

  I then noticed something on the ground. 

<Makoto>  I had once heard it was called "grass".  
*yanks Yaten's sake away and finishes it off with a grimace, much to his dismay*

I felt a force, I just had to pick it up.

<Mamoru>  Yes, feel the force... pick up the sod!  Eat it and choke on the righteous lawn chemicals 
of doom!
<Usagi>  Err, Mamo-chan... are you sure you're not getting a bit too into this?
<Mamoru> No no, I'm fine.... heh heh... yeah! *slightly irratic grin*
<All>   0.0  *slowly scoot away from him*

I picked up the paper. It was an old and faded

<Yaten>  Are you sure it wasn't faded and old?

 poster of a young girl with long pigtails. Destiny was staring at the picture too. I then 
noticed something written on the bottom. I squinted my eyes and read "Sailor Moon. Hmm..I feel 
like I've seen this face before." I said.

<Rei>  Hmm.  You don't say. *thoughtful look*
<Ami>  Waaai.... nooo.... *beats her head with keyboard*

"Me too! I just don't know where!"

<Minako>  Like, yeah!  Like, do you know?
<Makoto> Like, no!  But isn't this, like, incredible forshadowing?

We than asked the other orphans on the playground.

<Yaten>  We than puked from lack of sanity.
<Seiya>  And we than decided death was preferrable to this trite sludge.

 One obnoxious boy said "If you know her, tell her I'm free for a date."

<Seiya>  Good Lord!  That obnoxious, obsidious, awful little boy!!

 The others said they didn't know. The end-of-recess bell then rang.

<Mamoru>  You're sure it's not 'than rang'??

 I had History next. Mrs. Bagwell, the teacher

<Minako>  Kyaahaha!! *falls out of chair*
<Usagi> What kind of name is... Bagwell..??
<Ami>  AAAAAIIIEE!!!!!!   *claws at the wall frenziedly, screaming*  LET ME OUT!
<Setsuna>  *grabs hysterical Ami and ties her up neatly in a white straightjacket*  There you go.

 said, "Today we will go to the library to research the World Negaverse War. I want you

<Seiya> Good Lord!  That awful, horrible, sadistic old hag!!

 to walk to the library quietly."

<Seiya> .. oh. *squeaks sneakers on the ground slowly and sarcastically*  Like this?

And the class did.

<All>  And it was good.

 Too quietly for my tastes, there's one thing I hated about this school, everyone was so serious. 

<Mamoru>  *as dippy girl*  Yeah.  School should be a bit more freeform, you know, like letting 
the students carry around exotic alcoholic beverages, streak, make noise, assault teachers with 
water balloons, all that non-serious stuff.  I'll bet these people wouldn't even WANT to set 
loose a bunch of drunken monkeys in the hallways if they were given the chance!  Probably 
wouldn't even feel like playing war games on campus!  I just HATE seriousity... *eyes get sparkly*
<Yaten> Quick, someone restrain him before he hurts himself!
*Setsuna runs to get him a straightjacket*
<Mamoru>  In fact, what we REALLY need is to fill the football stadium with water and hold mock 
naval battles in it!!!
<All> *back away from Mamoru* 0_0

When we got to the library, Mrs. Bagwell 

<Minako> Oops, that's my cue. Hahahaa!!

passed out the books and told us to start with Chapter 1 and keep reading until the end of the 
class. I turned to page 1 to see Queen Beryl, the main cause of WNW. She had been killed but was 
brought back to life. Right now, we were fighting with the Negaverse to set us free

<Makoto> *chugs her vodka that appeared from nowhere and prepares a tequila while singing loudly*
Let my... people... ggoooo... *hiccups*

 but a war hadn't started yet.

<Seiya> Oh, and that makes a lot of sense.
<Makoto>  Fiightting... *hiccups and drops her tequila, sniffing* a nonexisting warrr... not.. 
possible.

 I continued reading about Queen Beryl and her generals until Chapter 5. When I turned to Chapter 
5, I saw a girl with long pigtail-like hair.

<Mamoru>  *as dippy girl*  And I thought to myself, my gosh, I've seen this person somewhere 
before!  My sense of forshadowing was stupendous for a mere girl of 6...

 Wait a minute that was the girl in the poster!

<Taiki> *twitching*  No punctuation... run on...

 I started reading about her. Her super-hero name was Sailor Moon. Her normal name was Serena. 
She was 14 when she discovered she was Sailor Moon.

<Usagi>  Yeah, I woke up one morning, looked in the mirror, and I finally had to ask myself:  Why
have I been wearing this weird hee-wack getup for so many years?  And why do people call me 
'Sailormoon' all the time? And why do they always get pissed off when a youma attacks and I just
stand there, doing nothing?  Like I'M supposed to help...
Maybe my name's NOT really Serena, I'm NOT really just a normal school girl, and I MIGHT be the 
heir to an extensive kingdom that was, by pure coincidence, on the Moon, and my real name is Usagi
Tsukino, meaning Rabbit of The Moon.. although that still doesn't explain why they called me 
"Sailormoon"......

 She just a teenager, just like me.

<Minako>  She just a poor, tormented soul, just like me.  *points to Makoto* 
<Makoto> That right.  I a tortured, blasphemied, angst-ridden teenager.
*Seiya hands her another shot of vodka; Makoto downs it, weeping*

... Continue

<All> NO!!!


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